(Closed) Embarrassing…Ring envy

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Babily, @Mrs. Louboutin   Actually, a CZ should have more sparkle and fire than a diamond, since its dispersion (the quality that causes prisms) is very high at 0.058–0.066, exceeding that of diamond (0.044).

Post # 18
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think you are ridiculous. Im sorry but the engagement is NOT about the ring. But about the love and honor and respect you and your partner share!

Post # 19
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

A .75 center stone and a total of 1.61 carats IS big.  You could put it in a halo setting?  A halo setting will make it look much larger.  And use the two diamonds on the side in a pendant or pair of earrings or something.

Post # 20
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@ staying_ms_shaw: when I put a CZ next to my diamond, my diamond seems to sparkle in a much more beautiful way than the CZ…

Also, in my opinion, choosing to wear a huge fake diamond instead of her smaller real one just seems tacky for me because she’s doing it for “status”…and an engagement ring should not be about “status”, it should be about their love and commitment to stay together forever. I have some VERY wealthy friends whose engagement rings have small diamonds and they LOVE it because of what it symbolizes, and they could care less about what other people think or say.

Post # 21
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it is always natural to have ring envy. Even if the ring is perfect for you, you may still look at another ring and second guess yourself. Just realize that at the end of the day, your fiancee bought you a ring to show his love and commitment for you.

Post # 22
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My fiance spent a lot of money on my .75 carat engagement ring. If I started buying fake rings, with fake diamonds, because I didn’t think my ring was big enough, his feelings would be deeply hurt. When someone spends a large amount of money on a present, and the recipiant of that gift is unsatisfied, that is hurtful to the person who gave that gift. Imagine saving up for the most expensive gift you ever gave someone, only to have them buy fakes of the same gift because they didn’t think the real thing was good enough.

Post # 23
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My Future Mother-In-Law changed her engagement ring after she got married to her second husband. She kept the middle diamond but changed everything else. He jokes with her about it but his feelings were not hurt. I also had a friend who changed her ring only a few months before the wedding.

I think its normal to have ring envy. I know i do. And I don’t feel bad about it nor should I feel bad about it.  He picked out my ring… not me. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my ring but it is always fun for “what if”.

I think the issue is you keep looking for more and your husband does not know that you have more than one/looking for more “beach” rings.  I think that you need to fess up to him.  Maybe he will want to upgrade (if you’d like) or offer to get you a right hand ring.  

Post # 24
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@ OP – Can we see a picture of your original e-ring?

Post # 25
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@OP I understand!!!!!!!!

As a woman who LOVES diamonds (not just engagement ring diamonds, but ALL diamonds) I have a very specific idea of what I will one day want in an engagement ring. I love to look at PriceScope, read up on diamond forums, and have a few nice diamond pieces already. I love jewelry (my grandmother was the same way and I guess I inherited it from her!)

I would be so dissapointed if my engagement ring wasn’t what I wanted. I know its easy to say “It’s not about the ring… etc.” and it isn’t. The ring is in no way representative of the marriage, but the ring is important in and of itself! I want a 2-3 carat emerald cut. It’s what I’ve always wanted. I wouldn’t be as happy with something else. It’s okay to love diamonds, to have a specific idea of what you want, and to dream about having that type of ring. My mom has a huge 3 carat CZ, but her house is filled with 18th century french and european antiques. She will drop 8K on a painting, but has a CZ ring. I have chairs from garage sales, but wear a 4 carat tennis bracelet. My mom isn’t into diamonds, but I am.

Its like cars to me– some people are auto enthusiasts. They read car magazines, do lots of research before they buy, and dream about the day they will buy a certain car. Other people just want something they can drive from point A to point B.

It doesn’t make you a bad person because you have specific tastes! Some people are happy with a Honda Civic, other people have been dreaming about a a specific BMW with a particular paint job for their entire lives.

I’d share your desires with your husband, and upgrade on an upcoming anniversary. In the grand sceme of things, its just a ring! If a big honking 3 carat is what makes you happy (you’re like me!) then go for it!

Post # 26
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

If you want a new ring, and you can afford it, get a new ring.  I got a new, unique, bigger, and better cut engagement ring before my wedding.  We were in a much more uncertain financial place when we got engaged, and everything since then has gone splendidly for us.  My first ring was a round cut solitaire, and I decided later that it wasn’t for me–it was too common, and thus too easily compared to others’ rings.  In a few years I’ll buy a matching round for it and turn it into a pair of earrings, so it won’t go to waste.  My new ring is more unique, and I’ve never seen a pear shape diamond on anyone else in real life before.  Since it’s different, it can’t be easily compared to any of my friends’ rings, and so it was a good way out of the envy game.  I didn’t ask my Fiance to get it for me, I do feel that would be inappropriate, but I bought everything from my own savings.

An engagement ring is not just a symbol of love.  If it were only a symbol of love I doubt we’d all pick the most obnoxiously overpriced stone on earth.  Like it or not, it’s also a status symbol, a stupid rock, and a piece of jewelry that you should feel is fashionable and enjoy wearing like any other.  Ignore anyone who calls you names or criticizes you.  You can spend your money on what you want to spend it on.  It’s none of their business.

Post # 27
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ring envy is just one of the many types of envies we will encounter in life. I think all bees can relate when they were jealous or envious of other people’s possesions. Rember that kid in highschool that got an awesome, expensive new car when you were just had a bike? Or the girl in your sorority that had a designer dress for spring formal, and you could barely afford that JCPenny gown? Or the neighbor that just did a goregous kitchen renovation?

My point is, we could all easily compare what we have to others, but then we would spend our entire lives jealous, because there will always be people who have more than we do. Trying to “keep up with the joneses” would make any person go crazy because its a competition you can never win. I think your feelings are normal, so try to keep your eye on the big picture and remind yourself of all the wonderful blessings you do have in your life.

Post # 28
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t think there is anything wrong with getting a new ring. I personally love my ring for its symbolism AND its structure, but I can see how having a ring you are unhappy with for the rest of your life could be an upsetting prospect! I just wish it was more for your personal taste, instead of a vehicle to showcase your “status”. Maybe I read it wrong, and if I did, I’m sorry. But if you do want a bigger ring just to advertise your status or class, I can tell you now that you are always going to be disappointed. There will always be someone with a bigger ring, or more bling, or more money, or a bigger house. You can’t win. The only way you can be satisfied is if you do what makes YOU happy, not the rest of the world. Those who matter will NOT judge you for your ring.

Also, I am surprised that no one else has pointed this out, so I am going to do it. I think it is okay to get a new ring if you have talked to your FH about it. However, it sounds like you have turned this into a “hobby”, always looking for and buying newer, bigger things, trying to outshow everyone around you. That is NOT healthy.

IMO, it is also not healthy to invest so much time into something so material. Find a ring you like, great, but to be constantly scouring ads and the internet to find more, more, more? It sounds like an addication. It also sounds like your FH does not know you have bought so many rings. If you share finances that could be a big no-no. Be sure to be upfront with him so you don’t hurt his feelings or inadvertantly lie to him.

Post # 29
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Eh, what’s the problem?  You have an engagement ring you love and a hobby of buying cheap awesome rings.  Yay happiness.  Nothing wrong with any of that.  The only problem seems to be you’re keeping it a secret from your husband as if it’s something shameful.  Let him know, honey, I got another beach ring isn’t it awesome?  I love changing it up!  Of course it’s key that I have my real diamond amazing ring safe at home but it’s fun to play too!

Post # 31
Member
4712 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1998

I have read thru the posts but I am going to post in regards to your original. I had a .55ct princess for years then with our 15th anniversary (Jan ’13 early because of the deal we got) he upgraded me to a 1.02ct princess. We were able to trade up at the store we purchased from. I have always wanted a halo around my ring since I first started noticing rings at age 9 or 10 and seen an art deco style and loved it. We are in the process of designing one now but have to save up for it.

The reason I didnt like my .55ct was because I have sausage fingers and it looked much too small. The 1.02ct we got for $9999.97 (no tax) with 60% discount and the original price we paid for the original ring as a trade came to $2700 total (including tax)… and is appraised at $12900 which in my opinion is the deal of the century!!

Now just waiting on the halo now because the setting for the 1ct one isnt really something I like but the halo setting will make it perfect so dont worry that you dont love your ring because some don’t. It doesnt mean that you dont love your man it just means that you are a bling lover like tonnes of other ppl in this forum including me. I know that ring porn makes my day.

The CZ stones I can pic out as well but if you like them and like the change up then do it. Dont let ppl judge you. Do what you want it is your life. I would tell your hubby your feeling tho or at least hint a bit so you are not too direct about it so it doesnt hurt his feelings. Do the anniversary upgrade and maybe even design ur own ring using some of your original ring in the design.

The topic ‘Embarrassing…Ring envy’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors