Emotional about wedding cost

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
213 posts
Helper bee

Girl, I feel you! 

I really really really relate at the overwhelm you can feel about the cost of a wedding, to the point where I’ve almost posted here about it myself just to see if anyone can commiserate. 

Bit of backstory, I come from nothing financially. We were a family that were given hand-me-downs and ate clearance food. I started working at age 13, put myself through Uni working multiple jobs, etc etc. 

I know first hand how hard I have to work and to sacrifice to save each $10,000. It’s really really difficult. 

The average wedding cost in Australia is between $36-64k (2017)

I know people that are putting weddings on debt or credit cards. Australians have around $2 trillion of personal debt, or roughly $250,000 per household. Scary times come for when they want to retire. 

But, I also dreamed of a beautiful big white wedding with a beautiful dress and a tonne of smiling faces for my wedding day. So I get you. 

Now I think it would be pretty cool to go to Vegas, lol. 

My advice is, that we shouldn’t do anything that is not going to matter in 50 years. And that we should never do anything on credit. 

If your answer to the above is ‘yes it will matter’ and ‘we have the entire amount saved in cash’ and you know deep down in your heart that you still want the big wedding, then absolutely go for it. 

Only you can decide what is right for you!

Post # 17
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2021

I’m sorry you are feeling very down. I am glad you were able to vent it out 

Post # 18
Member
43 posts
Newbee

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happybridetobe1988 :  I know exactly how you feel.  Every time I research wedding venues I get horribly depressed. It doesn’t help that my boyfriend has a huge family either.  I can either have a wedding, buy a house, or have a baby, but there’s no way I could have all 3 anytime soon.  It’s so depressing.

Post # 19
Member
409 posts
Helper bee

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monika54 :  this! Wedding house and baby in a short time is way too expensive for us. We will get zero support from families. It sucks! We bought a home and our next priority is a baby since I will be 34 in the spring. I would rather have a baby, and so would he. Once we have the baby we can focus any extra money on a small backyard wedding. Even if we end up going to the courthouse it wil be worth it. I have always wanted a child more than I wanted a big wedding and at my age I have to chose. 

Post # 20
Member
43 posts
Newbee

View original reply
sparklez11909 :  I’m turning 31 soon and I can practically hear my biological clock ticking.  I’d much rather have a house and a baby than spend all that money on one day. 

Post # 21
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I know what you mean. I go through this freak out every other week, every time a new expense comes up. It’s absolutely insane and it’s so frustrating and there is apparently nothing to be done about it because there’s apparently always someone willing to pay those prices, so they’ll never go down. You’re definitely not alone!! Wish I had some words of comfort but I still have to comfort myself with this like very other day…

Post # 22
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Not sure about Spain, but you can often save money here in the US by having your wedding

1. morning/afternoon instead of dinner

2. On a Sunday (what we are doing)

 

We are spending most of our money on the venue/photographer/honeymoon and making sacrifices nearly everywhere else (fake flowers, no limo, no hotel, no videographer, cheaper inivitations, wedding dress, etc)

 

Good luck!

Post # 23
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Hi! I just wanted to say I felt exactly the same at one point during planning and was kinda pushing Darling Husband to elope! 🙂 In the end we cut down on some costs, and I am so happy to have had the day we had. I am not saying I definitely would have regretted not having a “bigger” wedding with some of the traditional elements, but I was very surprised at how “worth it” it felt to me on the day as well as afterwards – I wasn’t expecting that at all.

My advice would be to thinn really carefully about what it important to you and your future husband, and prioritise that. Don’t buy into the wedding industry craziness, but also don’t feel overly guilty for making it a “special” day (whatever that may mean to you guys specifically!)

 

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