Emotional affair (likely more). Just need to tell someone.

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 45
Member
3970 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

Awe bee, I’m so sorry this is happening!! 

It really sucks, but honestly, he’s just making it easier for you by not fighting it or grovelling. I caught my ex-h cheating and he acted very similar to yours, even up to the single half-hearted “sorry” as he was walking out the door. We even split just before Christmas. 

A few things:
– take as much time as you need to process, and talk to people if that helps you. 
– Make lots of plans for Christmas. I ended up by myself for a good portion of Christmas day and that was really tough
– Dont make any decisions right away
– There’s no question that this affair was physical
– Don’t be surprised if he comes crawling back in a month or two. I’ve seen it several times and it’s pathetic

Get into therapy for yourself, if it’s available. It helps a lot. Also, keep in mind that you will go through stages of grief and it won’t be linear. Some moments you’ll be mad, some you’ll be sad… Give yourself the freedom to feel what you need to feel and be patient and kind to yourself. 

Post # 47
Member
11 posts
Newbee

View original reply
anon5100 :  

 

Dear Anon,

I am in the very same boat. Except in my case, it’s even more convoluted and messed up. I, too, researched or snooped, and found plenty, including a total of five trips to Spain, the other woman’s home country, four flower orders (red roses and messages like this: You are the love of my life, and the light of my world!) and much more. 

I am so very sorry for you, and hope that you will find a way to recover from this emotional mess. I know all too well how much it hurts. The complete loss of trust, and the feeling of being lied to is perhaps worst of all.

Best wishes and hugs to you!

 

Post # 48
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

what is WITH moms and forgivving douchebags?! same thing happened to me, i left my previous relationship because he was sleeping with a coworker for an entire YEAR before i found out and his mom called me and said “yes well that happens. you cant leave him”. what?! hell.no! you did the right thing by leaving. fuck that guy. you sound like a really strong independent woman anyway, you dont need that bitch. im so sorry this is happening to you, you dont need this shit in your life. hugs to you.

Post # 49
Member
465 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
alfalfasprout10518 :  

Mothers come from earlier generations when divorce had a stigma. 

Those types of moms will encourage younger woman to tolerate anything just to stay married. 

I know because my mother is just like this. She has tolerated all kinds of nonsense from my dad. 

I have a cousin whose ex husband cheated on her and gave her an STI. She immediately divorced him. Her mom and grandma stopped talking to her because she didn’t make her marriage work. I had no words for their ridiculous behavior. 

Post # 50
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

View original reply
mrsautumn36 :  My exes mother actualy said to me “You are seriously breaking up with him over a couple boobie pitcutes?” when i caught him sexting other women, several times. MIL’s are a real treat sometimes. 

Post # 51
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

View original reply
mrsautumn36 :  yeaahhhhh you see, i MUCH prefer the new thing were doing now. that thing we call SELF RESPECT

View original reply
waiting4gk :  

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors