Post # 1
Member
18 posts
Newbee
The story :
I’m marrying in July. A wonderful, kind man who is slightly older and provides a good lifestyle and lots of laughter. He is very calm and understanding . A workaholic who spends most of his time in the office. He would make a stable husband.
The friend :
Have grown close to a married man . He calls me his best friend. We spend a lot of time together, we work out together . We are getting closer, there’s a lot of chemistry and tension . We meet in secret and talk in depth . There’s touching on the arm, he’s even taken his top off and stood there half naked when discussing our changing bodies after working out. We compliment each other etc .. Yes it’s a crush and I know I’m crossing the line .
I have always got bored easily in relationships and crave attention and excitement
Your honest views please :
Post # 3
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
he’s married. he won’t leave his wife for you, so just stop before anything starts.
Post # 4
Member
18 posts
Newbee
Thank you for your comment. I Agree. It’s not that I want him to leave his wife. It’s exciting pushing the boundaries without physically cheating .. I’m a bad person and don’t know why it’s giving me a rush when I should be getting that from my wedding plans .
Post # 5
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
@Leosagg: nooooooo 🙁 stay away from him
go watch porn instead
Post # 6
Member
18 posts
Newbee
That made me chuckle , believe me this man is like a walking porn show . I don’t think I have ever seen anyone so hot. We are heading towards bad things . He is addictive, if I could get away with taking it further I would . My partner deserves a nice wife not one who flirts with another man. We have both admitted that we are not good for each other and both our relationships are suffering but the thought of not seeing each i other upsets us especially as no one knows we meet anyway .
Post # 7
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
@Leosagg: it seems (from the bare bones i know of your situation) that not only are you better off staying away from this married guy, it also seems that you don’t feel as happy/excited/sure as you should about marrying your fiance. that’s what worries me, because being attracted to someone else at this stage in such a way, is a side effect, not a cause.
Post # 8
Member
7596 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Not worth the headache and heartache.
Post # 9
Member
43 posts
Newbee
I don’t think you should get married. you are engaged and still attracted to other guys, you are not marrying for love honey, and you are doomed hurting a good man for a married man.
Post # 11
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
@Leosagg: you know, part of me thinks he’s crossing the line anyways. He doesn’t sound faithful to me 🙁
Post # 12
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
It’s important that you can share these same things with your future husband. You deserve to be each others best friends. My advice? Break contact with the married guy and focus on the love you have for the man you’re going to marry. Goodluck- all the best!
Post # 13
Member
8040 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@Leosagg: My honest view is that you’re playing with fire. What do you think will happen eventually? You’ll be posting one of those “I don’t know what to do… I love my husband but I slept with my friend. Do I tell my husband? I think I’m in love with my friend but he’s married!” — don’t go there!!
This isn’t fair to your fiance… or even yourself. Let’s not even talk about the wife of your “friend”!
If you get bored easily, don’t get married. Sounds like it’s not something you should pursue. You’re also not giving your marriage a chance because you’re putting all these flirty feelings towards another guy.
I think you need to stop seeing this guy. You have definitely crossed a line already, but if you truly love your fiance and want the marriage to work, you still have a chance to salvage it. If you get in any deeper with this other guy, though, I think you’re hooped. He’s also MARRIED so even if you do sleep with him, there’s absolutely no guaratee that he’ll leave his wife. Do you really want all this drama?
Post # 14
Member
18 posts
Newbee
Thanks , he has been with his wife for years and sounds a bit bored to be honest. she doesnt know anything about me other than a text she found when looking through his phone and she would go mad at him if she knew . It’s really frustrating because I was ok until he came along. Temptation in the biggest form. My fiancé is tired from working all the time. I booked for us to go away but fiancé fell asleep and I spent time thinking about my friend. Im getting cold feet about the marriage. My fiance is a safe option long term. The excitement has gone already and the thought of real life and marriage seems daunting and dull. Arghhhh 🙁
Post # 15
Member
18 posts
Newbee
No you are right , I do not want the drama and I am playing with fire. Time to grow up and not make the same mistakes that my mother made I think .
Post # 16
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
You know what you’re doing is wrong. And if he’s willing to cheat (even if only emotional so far) with you, then he’d be willing to cheat on you. Your don’t sound very excited about your Fiance, just more resigned to the fact that he’s safe and stable. I wouldn’t be getting married if I were you. If you’re doing this now, think about how hard it will be to behave after 10+ years of marriage, for example.
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