(Closed) Emotional blackmail… (LONG vent, sorry)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow she sounds like a joy!  Really, I don’t think there is anything you can do about it.  Some people are always sour grapes.  I’m sure the people that know you know that you didn’t threaten your Fiance to get engaged and they know that you aren’t making people go to a location in the middle of nowhere for the wedding.  Just try to ignore her and move on.

Post # 5
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Just hang in there! Family is usually(in my experience anyway) the harshest critics. Just tell his family why you didn’t pick her, make your peace with her and let it go. If she wants to keep making your life miserable thats on her not you, you know your truth.

Post # 7
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

wow, she really is a nasty almost evil girl. I’m So sorry this is happening, but don’t let her steal your spot light, because that is what is seems like is going on. This is your wedding, don’t let her ruin it for you, which from the sounds of it she really wouldn’t be the best Bridesmaid or Best Man anyways.

Post # 9
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Talk about sibling rivalry! It sucks that she is trying to get you sucked up into major drama.  Keep her on the sidelines, where she belongs, and hopefully she can find it in herself to be excited about your day, as opposed to being jealous that everyone isn’t focused on her.

Post # 10
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

she obviously has some pretty steep emotional issues and has wedding fever (e.g. wants a ring)

its really hard when its family but try to not let it get to you… enjoy your special day. Just try and repeat to yourself that you cant control other people’s actions or reactions. Whatever you do, dont let this ruin the wedding for you (e.g. your comment “i dont know how mcuh more we can take”)

Have you tried sitting down and talking, explaing your logic about including all siblings vs including none? Maybe that will help only because she’ll see that it wasn’t a decision about whether to include or exclude her specifically, but rather a larger decision about how many people should be in the bridal party.

 

Post # 12
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I really feel for you because we were in a similar situation with a groomsman in our wedding party. It was awful … the rumor, the orratic behavior, the jealous of us getting engaged first, etc. But, there was nothing we could do about it. That’s how he wanted to act, and we didn’t do anything wrong. He ended up dropping out of the wedding party and didn’t attend our wedding (we invited him). The whole thing was awful and ruined a good amount of our planning period.

My advice to you would be to just brush it off. I KNOW it’s hard, believe me, but really, what can you do? If you ask her to be in the Wedding Party, the other sisters might start to complain, then it’ll be an even worse situation. Plus, if you ask her now, she’ll probably pull the “Oh, you’re only asking because you feel bad” line.

When the wedding is here, it all goes away. Trust me.

Post # 13
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Sounds like she is super jealous of you & probably wishes she was engaged, getting a house & “settling down”. Her behavior is way out of line thou, I’m sorry she’s acting so… awful. Not to sound rude, but if she’s acting like this, its not going to make her bf want to propose to her any sooner, so she’s probably just gonna start acting worse, sadly.

I’d avoid her, if possible. I’m sure that with all the rumors she’s spreading, people realize by now not to take her word about your wedding. That’s awful of her to make you sound so horrible, when you haven’t done anything except get engaged! From all the things she’s done, I wouldn’t include her in the wedding. All of her lying & trying to get people mad at you doesn’t constitute love & support.

You’ve explained everything to her, so I’d stop trying to cheer her up, just leave her alone. It seems no matter how much you try to explain things, she takes everything wrong & stresses you out. Hopefully, she’ll realize how selfish she’s being & calm down & be your friend again.

Focus on the people who are supporting you. Don’t let 1 “bad apple” ruin your planning. You only get 1 engagement, so enjoy it as best you can :).

Post # 14
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Let this little cry baby throw her trantrums. If she doesn’t get over it, oh well.  Don’t let this bully pressure you into doing anything you DON’T want for your wedding. Such a pain in the bazoonkas! 

Post # 15
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Oh & yea I 2nd Miss Chapstick, don’t let her be in the bridal party. It will just encourage her that when she acts like she is, she gets her way. No one should be rewarded for behavior like that!

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