(Closed) Emotional Breakdown: Two dads, One Bride..

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t have much to offer because I’m not in the same situation but do your father and Chris get along?  Would they be willing to BOTH walk you down the aisle?  Or have one walk you from the door halfway down and then pass you off to the other one?

My best friend was walked down the aisle by her Step Dad who she grew up with and her father who was divorced from her mom at a young age.  Both are Dad’s to her.  She had to get past a lot of stuff to get into a better relationship with her bio-father, too.  But it worked out very well.  They also shared the Daddy/Daughter dance.

Post # 4
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee

I did read this all of the way through – and I’m going to recommend that you ask them both to share the moment as the above poster stated.  Since they work together and socialize, having them be there in the moment together could make the situation work.  It sounds like their love for you as their daughter trumps all else, which is an amazing blessing for you – although I understand this is a very hard decision.

I love the idea of you walking down on both of their arms and then beginning the father/daughter dance with one until the other asks if they may cut in halfway through.

Thanks for being brave enough to post this – especially since you seem so torn up about it.  Sometimes these longer posts are necessary to get things all out!  🙂

Post # 5
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with jillocb: have your bio father walk you down the aisle part of the way and then “hand you off” to Chris. I think this is a great compromise since it will, in essence, mirror what did in fact happen in your life. You could also have both of them walk you down together, or neither if it’s too hard to choose. As for the father/daughter dance….who says you can only have one?

I understand that your bio father came back into your life and is doing his best to do right by you and your kids now…but if I had to choose…it would be the step-dad all the way. He has been a constant in your life since you were 6 years old. He has seen you through to womanhood, supported your choices, gone above and beyond to make sure that you know that you are happy and loved. To me…that’s what a dad is…that’s what a dad does.

Post # 6
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Why not walk down the aisle with both your fathers?

Post # 7
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Hi!  My half-sister had her biological father and my dad (her step father that raised her) both walk her down the aisle.  It seemed completely normal and turned out just fine!  Neither dad was upset by this compromise, they were just glad to be a part of the day.  I feel terrible that you are so stressed about this.  Just take a deep breath and know that it will be a wonderful day no matter what you choose to do.

Post # 9
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

off shoot suggestion—  your bio dad walk you 1/2 way- hand you over to step dad- who walks you to your soon to be husband.    it really would show the stages of your life.

Post # 10
Member
14656 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow, your story is really touching.  You are so lucky to have both Chris and your biological father trying so hard for you now, its so great how everyone gets along.

Although I cannot speak from first hand experience, I have heard many people start with one person half way, and then the other the rest of the way.  I think cutting in on the father daughter dance would be fine too.  This way both fathers will have the chance of walking you down and dancing with you, and have individual pictures of doing so to cherish.

Post # 11
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Stormala: If he really feels that way, just have him walk you down the aisle by himself. I honestly can’t really blame him for that since he has done the majority of the “work”. Maybe you can honor your bio dad by having him do a special reading at the wedding ceremony?

Post # 12
Member
14656 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh, just saw your response there. 

What if you have Chris walk you all the way, then have your bio-dad at the end where you can give him a kiss/hug, then get passed to your Fiance (by Chris)?

Post # 13
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

It’s really touching that everyone wants to be a part of your wedding and wants to do what will make you happy.  I’m sure that’s what’s making the decision so tough.

I would tend to yield to Chris’s wishes though because it does sound like he and your mom are the hosts of this event.  Will your son be in the wedding?  It sounds like he is very young.  Perhaps your dad could escort him down the aisle as a compromise.

Post # 14
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would say my first response would be to have them both walk you.  or to have your dad walk you 1/2 way and then Chris the rest of the way.. i think that would have some beautiful symbolism in it..

however, if you have to pick one.. have Chris do it.  He is your “dad,’  being a father is a job and he took the position.. =)  I know that your biological father is trying and that is amazing, but this moment is something that you should gift to Chris, as he gifted you with raising you as his own.

Post # 15
Bee
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

Here’s my suggestion from reading your post and then all the comments – I think it is lovely and wonderful that your dad is back in your life, however, it sounds like Chris deserves this moment with you, especially since he wants it.  (I am realizing in text only this may sound judgmental which I definitely do not intend – I sincerely am trying to just be helpful and truly sympathize with your difficult position). Since you do like your dad’s girlfriend, can he walk down the aisle with her, and then maybe do a reading during the ceremony?  Or can he walk with your son?   

Post # 16
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

How about your step dad walk you down the isle and your dad do the first dance?  Otherwise I think you should not have any guilt if you want to have your step-dad walk you down the isle.  He deserves it, he raised you and was there for you when you needed him.  Any decision you make won’t be wrong.  They will both be grown ups and do what is best for you.

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