(Closed) emotional cheating and emotional abuse, can't move on

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 18
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Wow, I lived that relationship all through university. In the end I needed some counciling to reaffirm my self worth, and blocked all contact with him (and I mean ALL contact, if he tried to contact me, or showed up at my door, I’d tell him to go away and slam the door in his face)

Just be happy you aren’t spending your life with this guy, trust me, you’re better off

Post # 19
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Trust me, you dodged a bullet. Take it as a blessing in disguise. It sucks now, but it’ll get better. Agreed with PPs, ignore him completely, cut him out of your life, delete his number, block him on social media, anything to make sure you don’t talk to him anymore and won’t see if he talks to you. He’s not worth the effort, and you know you deserve better. 

Also just wanted to point out that I’ve been long distance with my fiancé for a while now, and we text on and off all day and skype several times a week. The only times we didn’t talk were when he was deployed. If he really wanted to, he would have made time for you. Like I said, take it as a blessing in disguise. 

Post # 21
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

But what you have to realise that this is just YOUR FEELINGS – doesn’t mean it’s true.  And never talk about someone not being your ‘league’ at all, everyone is equal to you.  Having a better job or more money doesn’t make someone a better person.  

Your feelings will change with time and you will realise that you aren’t worse off without him, quite the opposite.  

Post # 23
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

lovehearts123:  you need something to distract you. A vacation, time with friends, a new hobby. Lingering on the whys and hows of a failed relationship is very unhealthy – I know it’s hard and you can’t help it at times, but you have to start to force yourself to think about other things.

This guy didn’t “become” arrogant because of how much you loved him – you can’t change a person. He was already arrogant, but you were in love and when we love someone, we sometimes see only their good qualities and are blind to the bad.

He was clearly a shitty partner to you, so you have to make yourself stop thinking about what he thinks of you, what you should have done differently, how you should’ve never gotten involved, etc. You need to focus on you and on moving forward instead of looking back. Find something else to fill your time so that you don’t have time to linger on this guy anymore. 

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