(Closed) Emotional day

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3356 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

oh my god I’m so sorry 🙁 have you thought about couples’ therapy? it sounds like you two really need to talk about this and open up and make sure that you’re each aware of your mistakes, especially HIM.

Post # 4
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Emotional abuse is still abuse, no matter what anyone says.

I think if you read that last paragraph to yourself again, you will see what YOU want to do.vdont ever be afraid to do what you want to make yourself happy.

I really hope everything works out how you want it to – you’ll be in my thoughts!

Post # 5
2783 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@weightless:  OP, I am SO SO SO SORRY that you are feeling this way! He has absolutely no right to treat you this way, and shaming you in front of your family on FB like that is just disgusting.

I do agree with PP that you need to think about couples counseeling, but more than that I also think you need counselling for YOU. NO ONE has the right to make you feel the way he has, and you are worth so much more than that. Please don’t let him make you believe anything else.

I also think you need to ignore his demands, and stay friends with this guy, because it sounds like he is a positive influence in your life, and you  both need an ddeserve that. Also, if you miss working, you should go back. What does he expect you to do all day: he’s  not even in the country!

Your husband is not respecting you or your marriage: you do not have to cowtail to any of his demands.

Post # 6
183 posts
Blushing bee

This makes me want to cry! I am so sorry! No woman should ever have to feel like this and especially be caused by your husband!!


I agree, I think it would be best for the two of you to go to therapy! You’ll be In my prayers!

Post # 7
13672 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow, I am so sorry.  No one should ever make you feel bad about yourself, and it sounds like he breaks you down a lot more than he builds you up. He does things that he knows will upset you (posting about porn on facebook or asking for an open marriage), and when you ask him to stop, he doesn’t, or does so only for a short while.  It’s hurtful, and it’s definitely not what a loving relationship should be like!

Don’t talk down about your appearance.  I’m sure you’re a beautiful woman – inside and out!  I just got my braces off a few months ago, so I know how you feel about that, but your husband shouldn’t be making disparaging comments or anything about it.  Don’t have surgery to fix your relationship; I’m not sure what your motivation is for that, but if it’s not medically necessary, it may not be worth it (unless it’s for YOU, in which case, go for it).

No one can tell you what to do.  But what do you want?  Was he like this before you got married?  Has he gone through anything traumatic (like being in a combat zone) that could have caused TBI or PTSD or some other mental and/or physical condition? 

I agree with a PP about getting couples counseling, but it also sounds like he needs some individual therapy as well. 

Good luck!  Just remember, you don’t deserve this.

Post # 8
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I usually would never tell a poster to ‘leave’, but in your case, I think it would be healthiest.  He IS emotionally abusing you, and has now formed a patterned behavior.  Does it, says he will change, does it again…the pattern, sadly, will not end unless HE seeks proper treatment. 

What saddens me most is the way you described yourself.  For you to say there may be SOME validity to what he says means that you are so beaten down at the moment.  You are beautiful, and you deserve someone who is going to appreciate your beauty – inside and out, who will respect you, who will respect your family, who will be an equal in a marriage.  NOT some power trip pig whom asks if HE can have an open marriage, bc you do not ‘put out’ bc he is not attracted to you.

I hope this does not come across as mean.  I am so angry for you, and so sorry that you are dealing with this.  As a PP stated, please seek help for yourself.  You owe it to yourself, NOT HIM, to feel strong and confident once more. 

Post # 9
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You are a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful person.

Dump the loser!

Post # 10
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN!  This is a completely unhealthy and abusive relationship.  He made you quit your job?!  I can’t BELIEVE someone who supposedly loves you would make you feel like such crap about yourself. 

Post # 11
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I am sorry sweetie. I am not one to be ok with divorce. I always say that people now a days give up to easy on their marriage but in your situation, I would say leave.  There is no way this man loves you.  Love is good and kind, love is sweet and supportive.  You need to leave before it gets worse and he starts forming to other sorts of abuse.  As a woman who was verbally abused, they dont change.   

Please go to see a thereapist to help you move forward. I am here to talk, you can inbox me any time.  I am really sorry again! I will pray for you.  

Post # 12
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Your husband is abusive… I’m not going to tell you toleave because there are 2 sides to every story and no matter what we say, you have to make the best choice for your marriage.

I will say this, he is probly asking for an open marriage because he is already cheating. You deserve more than you are getting.

Marriage is hard but it should never he hurtful. Go see a consulor alone.

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