Post # 1
Bleh. I am so friggin depressed today. Fiance and I got into a huge fight this weekend, and even though we made up, I feel so sad.
I feel like this wedding is never going to happen. We have no $, and can’t find a venue that will work. I was never a person who dreamed about what her wedding would be like, but of course once we got engaged I got caught up in all the big wedding hooplah and started dreaming away. I have a huge family and everyone keeps asking about the “big day.” I seriously wish we had never started planning or bought my stupid dress, because then it would be so much easier to just say screw it, and go to the courthouse. (Yes, I know I could still wear it to the courthouse, but, well, I wouldn’t). I feel like a crazy person because every time I think about the wedding I start crying.
Just a vent I guess, since I’m rambling and haven’t really said or asked anything. Yay for crying to strangers on a computer!
Post # 3
Here’s a cyber hug from a random stranger ((hugs))
Post # 4
Sometimes I get overhwlemed as well. It can be a stressful process, and I’m sure it’s been a stressful weekend as well.
Don’t get too caught up in all the weddingness – just remember, ultimately it’s just one day, and the important thing is marrying the person you love. Take things one day at a time. Concentrate on one component at a time. What kind of a venue are you looking for? If you need help with research, you know that we bees can help 🙂 And honestly, if what would make you happy is just to elope, then do it. You can plan something later on as a “reception.” Go to the courthouse, go to an island, do it that way if that’s what you and your fiance want to do.
As a side note, your dress is so beautiful (yes, I stalked it back in the boards).
Post # 5
Awww ((hugs)) hunny! I completely understand. It was going to be way too expensive for us to get married here and I couldn’t find a venue or anything so we decided as a couple that me, my fiance and our immediately family and best friends are getting on a cruise and getting married 🙂 I know that doesn’t help you but you just have to believe that everything happens for a reason and you will have the perfect day, just don’t settle. If you had a courthouse wedding now you could have a beautiful vow renewal in front of all of your friends when you have the money to have a celebration…there are lots of options. Just remember at the end of the day that you have found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with and no matter where you get married he will always love you 🙂
Post # 6
Girl its absolutely NORMAL to feel this way. I can garuntee that 95% of Brides feel like this during the Wedding planning.
I too was cursed w having 0 money for our Wedding.
Both our parents arent rich enough to have paid for us, so my Fiance and I are basically paying as we go.
We decided on an UBER small and intimate Wedding, we basically just invited our parents and siblings.
We made sure to tell people from the start that itll just be immediate family so that no one gets jealous they werent invited.
Our guest list is about 20 people.
Dont get discouraged, remember that its YOUR Wedding, and do what you can do.
Besides, there are people that have GRAND weddings and shitty marriages.
So a simple small Wedding is all you need.
Post # 7
Remember, it’s not expensive to get married! It can be expensive to have a wedding.
Decide what you want- a marriage or a wedding- then make it happen.
There are lots of posts her on wedding bee about lower cost alternatives including backyard, park, JOP weddings etc.
Post # 8
@julies1949: I agree w Julies1949. My Wedding will cost us under 5k!
Post # 9
Hugs to you! I am just starting this process too and we are seriously (90%) close to deciding that we are doing a JOP in July and then a ceremony and reception a year later. I’m still having doubts about not having our immediate family there on the original day, but our immediate family is almost 30 people!
I hope that you are already feeling better with the cyber support of the bees! Hang in there and try to remember what I seem to tell myself daily…there will be plenty of life left to be stressed, but how many days will you have left to havethe joy of being and “soon to be”???
Post # 10
Take a break from wedding planning for a few days. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming and it’s really easy to get caught up and feeling dragged under it all. Just walk away from it for a few days. Plan a really fabulous dinner and some down time for you and Fiance, no wedding talk allowed. ((hugs))
Post # 11
Ha, the original title of this post was actually “Weddings are stupid,” but I knew I would get a world of hurt for that one.
Thanks for the support and advice, ladies/random strangers. I keep trying to tell myself to grow up and think about what is really important, but I haven’t been able to snap out of it just yet. I know I’ll come around eventually.
Fiance and I have said several times that we should just go to Vegas, go on a cruise, go to wherever, but somehow we always end up planning a wedding in town. All of our family is here so it seems silly NOT to have it here, but I hate Tucson venues. I’ve lived here my whole life, so I’m sorry if I’m sick of cactus, dirt, and turquoise, lol!
@NauticalBride2011: Thanks so much for the dress compliment. In the midst of my nervous breakdown I am also having massive dress regret, so hearing nice things about it makes me happy =)
(I know, I know I’m being such a drama queen – I swear I’m usually not!!)
Post # 12
@katiedee: Your dress is gorgeous! I love it!! Seriously, I hated looking at photos of my dress after my fittings. I started wondering if I had made the wrong choice too. But whenever I put it on I remembered why I loved it so much, and in my pro photos I get the warm and fuzzies over it. Don’t stress about it, it’s normal 🙂
Why not do a DW?? If you guys don’t want to do it in Tucson book a cruise or a pretty island resort and run away with a few friends and family! It’s your wedding!
Post # 13
@bakerella: Crazy. I look at your pics and can’t imagine you having doubts about anything along the way!
I have a few issues with DWs (not DWs in general, just for us): I would LOVE to head over to a vineyard in Southern California or some beautiful island, but it seems that with the cost of flights and hotels and venues in such popular areas, the cost would be even greater and I wouldn’t have most of the people I love there to celebrate with us. Second, while a SoCal Destination Wedding would be great for me (3 of my 4 best friends live in San Diego), FI’s best friends are all here in Tucson, with kids and no money to make the trip. We wouldn’t want to ask them to spend the money, then Fiance would have no friends there.
Post # 14
I felt the same way you did. My family and my in-laws weren’t interested in helping me plan a wedding, and my hubby had NOOO idea what a wedding entailed… leaving it all on me. We got into fights and arguments constantly over wedding related stuff just because I was so stressed over planning. Needless to say, I got extremely discouraged planning.
However, we did end up having a wedding… just hubby and I! (and the photographer and officiant…) It was a perfect day for US and that’s what matters. 🙂
Post # 15
@katiedee: Awww thanks. But seriously, I did start to have some dress regret and even sometimes when I see gorgeous dresses on here I at least wished I had tried on a hundred dresses just for fun even!! LOL!
Okay. So a dirt-free Tucson venue…. Here are a few I found with NO idea whatsoever about Tucson or your budget, so sorry if these are totally out of whack, LOL!
Wild Horse Ranch
Tanque Verde Ranch
Sky Line Country Club
Ever After Ranch
Post # 16
@bakerella: Oh good lord, you are just too nice! Unfortunately, for one reason or another we aren’t able to go with any of those beautiful venues. Financial reasons for most of them. I really appreciate you taking the time to research, but I’m pretty sure I’ve scoured every inch of Tucson and so far have only come up with one venue I love…and it’s too small. WAHHH!
Haha, ok. I just can’t whine anymore today. I’m totally bitched out.