(Closed) Emotional… Letting go of… My Maiden name….

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
833 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It’s been 7 months since my wedding and since I changed my last name and it still feels really, really weird!! I’m glad I changed it but I definitely feel a sense of loss with my maiden name…I think it will get better in time!

Post # 33
Member
1233 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My Darling Husband was really upset when I told him I was keeping my name— but 5 years later he doesn’t mind at all and realized what a jerk he was being. In fact he was the one who said he wanted our son to have both our names hyphenated as his last name :). 

 

No offense but I really don’t understand why it seems like the woman always has to change her name just because it is important to the man, why does she have to make the sacrifice? I know marriage is about compromise but it always seems that what the man says is important to him trumps what is important to the woman when it comes to changing/keeping a name. Having different last names is no big deal and doesn’t make you any less married – I never had the same name as my mom and brother but I never felt any less of a family. If you want to change your name then great but if not then stand your ground! It is Your decision and does not affect your marriage.

Post # 34
Member
12 posts
Newbee

ann.reid.9277:  My last name is also a woman’s first name, so it always gets screwed up.  I can’t wait to get rid of my maiden name.

With that beind said, I can understand why so many people are attached to their maiden names.

Post # 35
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

trevino24:  I’m not super super psyched about my new name, but it wasn’t a hill I wanted to die on. While my new last name is more unique, my maiden name says a lot more about my culture and where I came from! So I totally hear you that it can be a really emotional experience

Post # 36
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

SO and I have actually talked about changing names when we get married. My situation is a little different because I’ve published both scientific literature and short stories under my maiden name as part of my career as a professional writer. Therefore, I plan on changing my last name legally but publishing under my maiden name – a pen name, if you will. SO is just happy that I want to be referred to in social situations as Mrs. HisLastName, so it works for us. I’m also very attached to my last name and how unique it is, so keeping it as my pen name is a good compromise.

Post # 39
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I’m currently trying to decide whether to change my maiden name and it’s a HARD decision! My Fiance doesn’t mind either way, as long as our children have his last name.

I’m attached to my last name for cultural reasons, it says a lot about my heritage. But at the same time, I would love to be Mr. FIlastname. I’m really thorn but lately, I’ve been swaying more on the option of changing my last name so that our family can have all the same last name. Kinda like a “fresh” start of my adult life and our life together as a family. Still haven’t totally made up my mind though!

 

Post # 40
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I shocked myself at how eager I was to take my husband’s name. I always swore that I would never take a man’s surname. Then again, I didn’t think I was going get married either. 

I can understand the pain of giving up a part of yourself. Maybe you can view the name change as a gift of love from your husband. 

Post # 42
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I started the process today and it really isn’t fun. I will miss my maiden name. Resenting a little bit that the guys don’t have to do this!

Post # 43
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I also wonder what it will be like when I actually make the name change. My maiden name will become my middle name, and then I’ll take FI’s last name. We will be moving for my new job several months after we get married, so I’ll be making the transition when we relocate. However, I had to do some pre-employment paperwork with my anticipated new name, and it was a little weird at first! Then I had to write it so many times, which I guess is practice for my post marriage life.

Post # 44
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

trevino24:  My maiden name sucked. I was happy to let it go hehe. I love my married name. 🙂

Post # 45
Member
1553 posts
Bumble bee

eveline:  I feel the same way, my Fiance has a way better last name than I do.

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