(Closed) Emotional… Letting go of… My Maiden name….

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’m also really struggling with the prospect of changing my name. Although for an admittedly silly reason…his last name is SO ugly. Like well, no one here knows either of our first names and it’s not totally uncommon, so I’ll juat say it. Belcher. Yes. Belcher. Like burp. I’m really struggling to take it on. I also work in the school systems and I don’t want kids to make fun of me lol, Mrs Belcher..I’m working on it though! It’s taking me longer to be ok with it than I would like to admit, though. 

Post # 47
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee

I didn’t want to give up my maiden name so I hyphenated it…. so now I am Claire maiden name-dh’s last name. In reality, no one calls me by both of them, and its kind of a pain in the ass on legal documents.

Still, I was known professionally by my maiden name and I was over 30 when I married, so I was highly attached to my last name and I didn’t want to give it up….. so I understand where you are coming from ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 48
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

scarlettbegonias87: Keep your last name! Just saying. I totally had a teacher named Miss Belcher. She was really nice, but we did make fun of her name. I dunno. Seems like a lot to deal with when you could keep your own name. Also, I like your Sublime reference ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 49
Member
238 posts
Helper bee

trevino24:  

I never did give up mine, for feminist reasons. He’s fine with that.   We don’t have children but had we been  able to do so, we would have hyphenated

Post # 50
Member
39 posts
Newbee

I don’t plan on changing my maiden name since that has always been part of me and my guy is totally cool about it. I guess that’s because his mom didn’t change hers when she married his dad? Lol

Post # 51
Member
587 posts
Busy bee

I felt the same initially because i went from a unique maiden name, to a general last name! And you do feel like you have lost a little part of your identity. You get used to it after a while though, and it is nice being a “Mr and Mrs ………”.   Just think that your mum probably changed hers, and your grandmother etc.  If they can do it, you can do it too!

Post # 52
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Syzygy88:  thanks! But I’ll take his name. When we have kids I want them to share our last name, and I don’t want to hyphenate. I just need to suck it up. At least I’m in a role in the schools where most districts generally let the kids call me by my first name, hopefully the trend continues and the schools will be cool with that! And I’ll just never let the kids know my last name haha

Post # 53
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I was totally ready to let go of my maiden name, I didn’t have the best childhood. But when it came time to fill out the paperwork, I really agonized about whether to list my last name as my maiden name. I didn’t but now I’m not sure if I’d like to change that…lol The funny part is after about two years of marriage, a guy I work with asked me what my maiden name was and it was so weird to think that someone didn’t know it that I’d become Mrs. His Last Name…lol I will say after a while it become yours, as much as your previous name. Don’t worry ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 55
Member
3291 posts
Sugar bee

I have mixed emotions regarding whether I’ll change my name or not…. There is literally no other people in this country (excluding my family) who have my surname, it’s Ukrainian and if I lose that name I will feel like I am losing part of my heritage. I only have two male cousins who can carry on the name, but what if they don’t!?

But I also want to share my SO’s last name with him… I am in two mind-sets about it

Hyphenating isn’t even an option for me because my surname is 10 letters long (and super crazy…). How am I supposed to keep my name in the signature box on things such as my driver’s license with and extra 5 letters tacked onto that? lol

I don’t know what I will do ๐Ÿ™

Post # 57
Member
3291 posts
Sugar bee

trevino24:  I’ve always been known as the girl with the unspellable and unpronouncable crazy Ukrainian surname.. I don’t know if I can let it go. I’d be more inclined to if/when my sister changes her sons surname to ours (his dad has nothing to do with him, so I hope she does…)

Post # 58
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee

I wasn’t completely sure I wanted to change my name, so I didn’t. We’ll probably create our own combined family name and both switch if we have kids. <br />Hope you feel better about your decision soon!

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