(Closed) emotional support needed in my wedding planning, please!! TIA

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

of course its okay!  its your wedding. i am a firm believer that the only person you need to consult with on these “special touches” is your FI! if you want it and he is okay with it and you can afford it….then there is no reason not to go for it!

Post # 4
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - MacLean Park

I think you should get the wedding you envision. I mean, when else are you going to have a photographer following you around all day, documenting your every move? How often do you throw a party for this many people? Dress up this nice? Etc? Get your special touches girl! I understand where your family is coming from, $250 sounds absurd for a slideshow when you’re out of context. But, do you really want to miss out on the memories just to save a buck? I mean, maybe you can choose to do the buffet, but not the slideshow. But, no decorations? Are you kidding me? That’s wedding blasphemy! I say take your in-laws up on their offer and enjoy the bonding experience. So your family sucks with the support, they’ll get over it, that’s what family is all about anyway! Good luck!

Post # 5
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with Sassy. If you and your Fiance like certain special touches, go to it! And those who are interested in helping with that aspect will. It’s your one day, and if something is important to you and fits in your budget, be excited for it and enjoy it. It’s fun to get both families involved, so if this is FI’s family’s ‘thing,’ then enjoy the help and bonding time. 

Post # 6
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I also think that (if you can afford it) having the special touches you want is important and you should do it!   This is your wedding and that’s different then just your standard party (I had this argument with my FH re: decorations as well). A candy buffet doesn’t have to be super expensive.  You can save money on the containers and the types of candy offered.  Also, you could use this as your favour, so if you already have additional favours planned you COULD scrap them if you want to.

I understand your family being upset by your in-laws perceived flakiness.  I actually have somewhat of the same problem.  My family views flakiness as a lack of care issue, so it’s been difficult for me to adjust my expectations. If your family is worried that they will be stuck doing the dirty work the night of, that’s a valid concern.  Do you have a bridal party?  This is completely something that you can ask them to help with. That way if your in-laws don’t actually step up, there is a fall back option.  

I would clearly ask for your in-laws help with “tearing down” any decorations.  If you clearly state your expectations, I think that it’s less likely that they will flake off.

Post # 7
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

You should definitely go for it! I’m not sure what’s gotten into your family, but those are really nice ‘extras’ that you want to add and it looks like they really won’t even cost that much! 

Post # 8
30 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

Hey sorry to hear you’re having some troubles with your family but I can relate.  My family is far away and not so helpful but I’m learning to connect with my Fiance’s family and enjoy the experience with them.  You want positive and supportive people around at this time, any unnecessary drama is not going to help.  Do what you like and take those helpful people up on their offers!  It’s your day!

Post # 9
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

You should be confident in your tastes and go for it. If they want to be negative about your ideas, I know it stings, but so what? It’s your wedding! Do it up your way!

…Having said that, it seems like perhaps what’s causing some difficulty is that you don’t really have a budget from your mom. I mean, “anything over $5k” is vague–truly anything over $5K? Like $100,000 + $5k? I doubt it. So I think that you need to get a figure from her–and SHE needs the figure too because what’s going on is, $1000 on centerpieces is a big deal in the abstract, but if she can see that it’s 20% of her overall budget, then maybe it’s not that big a deal.

The topic ‘emotional support needed in my wedding planning, please!! TIA’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors