- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
So it would seem the argument with S has taken a bad turn
I made the decision last week, with S’s silence, that it would be best if we broke contact for a while over facebook. Today, after several weeks of her msging the swearing and scathing letter from this thread http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/worried-slightly she has gotten back to me
Here is the convo (names changed)
S :so i guess we’re not friends anymore. a bit juvenile dont you think? you sure you truly mean it, and you dont care?
Me: Well, the way I look at it you did tell me to fuck off. You’ve called the house twice now, and have never asked to talk to me. I didnt reply back to that msg because I think you could tell that what you said was uncalled for. Im not going to call you names, or swear at you, because I know better. Im just surprised that after that message, after I didnt respond, you didnt realize that what you said was not only hurtful, but really uncalled for.
I was going to call you this week, because I am personally done being mad at you; its exhausting and a waste of both our time. I know you dont agree that what you said was uncalled for. You are probably going to get defensive even while you are reading this; I know you well enough to know that no matter how curt this msg is, the fact is now your mad at me for being mad at you. Thats pointless to me.
So honestly, I deleted you because I wanted to see if I was worth contacting to you at all. If maybe you realized that swearing at me might not be the best thing to do when Im attempting to be honest with you about the issues in our family. Its obvious I was mistaken.
And if you would like me to further explain why its upsetting to me for you to swear at me, please allow me to do so. For the last few years we havent been close, but even during our disagreements I have never even had the audacity to hang up on you, let alone swear at you.
Even when I was angry with you about your stance with dad I didnt swear at you, or voice my disagreement in a way to barb you with snarkiness. I’ve realized this last year that I dont want to have relationships where backhanded compliments, judgments and snarkiness are the response to disagreements. That is not how civil adults deal with disagreement in their relationships and I rather not have a relationship with you at all than to put up with such a negative relationship for the both of us.
The thing that disturbs me the most is that your reaction to my letter wasnt to talk it out with me, but to tell me off right away. I think that pretty much speaks volumes of what you really think of me and our relationship. I give you the civility that I do because I know thats what you deserve. Its also obvious to me you do not agree that that is what I deserve. And Im not comfortable with that at all.
I havent heard back from her yet. Obviously this isnt over yet, but honestly? This is the way I feel. Im pretty sure Im going to be judged harshly for it, but whats the point of talking to you ladies if I dont show you the follow up to my previous post? Im clueless as to what to do. I was just trying to make sure I was civil in my answer to her….I hope I did that much
I know you ladies are blunt, but please try to be kind. Im a bit fragile over this. I love my sister, I just expect more from her than how she has treated me recently.
Thank you in advance
PS. Please feel free to PM if you feel you need to get personal a bit.