(Closed) Emotional Wreck

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I’ve heard that it gets ridiculous toward the end.  I’m still in the last couple weeks of the semester, so I haven’t let myself fully freak out about it yet, but it can be very stressful and emotional.  It’s going to be okay.  In the end, you’ll be married, and that’s all that matters.  I keep reminding myself that while the wedding is important, it isn’t as important as the commitment we are making to one another.  Just breathe.

Post # 3
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It will all be over before you know it. I hated the stress of wedding planning too. But it’s here and then it’s gone…

Post # 4
Member
1647 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Sorry to hear it’s stressful. Give yourself a night off and spend some time with your favorite person! Don’t let other people’s imperfections get you down, focus on what is important.

Post # 5
Member
2733 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

snowflakebee:  planning any big event is always going to have its stressful moments but this should be a happy time, not a miserable one. Just focus on the upcoming marriage rather than the wedding. Things will go wrong, surprises will happen, it won’t be perfect but it’ll still be the best day of your life if you allow it to be. Don’t let the petty little things get you down. Remember what this day is all about.

Post # 6
Member
4010 posts
Honey bee

I’m sorry you’re having a rough time! The end is definitely the worst, and weddings can really bring out the selfish in people! I think one of the best ways to reduce the stress is to keep most of the planning to yourself and your Fiance. I only involved people when I truly needed them, like setting up the venue the day before with my parents, DIY stuff with my very crafty mom, and dress shopping with immediate family. Pretty much everyone else that I knew would cause drama or extra chaos versus help, I left out of it and just had more of the wedding talk fun to include them. Maybe scaling back your expectations and focusing more on what you and Fiance are doing might help in these final weeks? 

Post # 7
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

I think it may be “normal” to kinda feel this way to an extent. I just got married this past Saturday,  and around the time of where your at now I think my husband and I both started to feel that way!!! You kinda get this picture perfect vision in your mind of how everything will pan out- you expect it to be this memorable fun experience with your family and friends,and expect them to feel as happy and excited,  but the reality of it is is that sometimes thats not the case. Its not going to always be perfect. Planning a wedding IS stressful,  it is an emotional Rollercoaster ride!!  & people arent always gonna be as excited as you are, they’re not always gonna wanna do what they “should” do, and do it smiling.  That was our main stresser-OTHER PEOPLE!!! There was almost always some type of issue with someone, something they couldnt/didnt wanna do… I mean, my brother was a groomsmen and 2 weeks before the wedding he still never went to get fitted for his tux! He decided to run off with his girlfriend and move 3 hours away- with NO VEHICLE -& NO MONEY!!!! It was beyond stressful trying to communicate with him and get him to understand he agreed to be a groomsmen, we picked out their tuxedos and he had to go get fitted and pay his $ by a certain time… I fought with him thwle entire way, up until thw day before!  We had to figure out a way to get him back in town, I had to pysically bring him myself to his fitting so that he’d do it, and I just found out my husband ended up paying for his tux just so we’d know it was done and I wouldnt have to stress about it. Then, he was suppose to come here (ny home) on the Thursday before and just stay through the weekend – b/c our dad and little brother flew in from Cali-& Thurs was Thanksgiving,  Fri was our dads bday,& Sat was the wedding. It was a big battle to get him to agree because he didnt wanna leave his girlfriend! !! He ended up not showing up until Fri evening!! And when he finally did show up, I was with my mother trying to relax on the eve of my wedding and we were getting mani/pedis and I recieve a phone call letting me know that even though I told my brother it was going to only be the MEN that were IN THE WEDDING staying at my house (all the women of bridal party was staying at my mothers) that he arrived at my house with his girlfriend and her THREE SMALL CHILDREN! !!! GEEZE.  ok I guess I needed to vent about that

Anyway , my point is- things are going to be stressful!! Because its such an important day, of course your going to get stressed! !! Not everything will go how you had set in your mind- things continued to not go how I invisioned in the final months leading to the day. BUT trust me when I tell you none of that will matter!!! The night before my wedding all my nerves vanished!! I was too excited to be nervous or stressed!!! There were things I wanted/wanted to do that never happened  (like I planned on cuttinf and sewing my sash and turning into a belt that hooked -just 1 little thing as an example ) & im telling you I could have cared less!!! The day of the wedding I forgot our programs, I also forgot the 2 page long outline i spent hours typing up for our officaint -which included our vows and everything! !! And im tellinf you IT DID NOT MATTER!!! All those little things I was so stressed about meant nothing at that moment!!! I was so excited and unbelievably blissfully happy to be about to be walking down the ailse to marry the love of my life that nothing else but that mattered! !! The officaint came to talk to me and was asking me if I had it all backed up somewhere or something and my words were “its fine!! I dont care, IM ABOUT TO BE HIS WIFE!!” I was beaming with happiness 

And let me tell you, the ceremony was perfect! !!!  The entire wedding , from the start of the day to the reception to the end of the night was magical and perfect!!

I know right now me telling you to relax that everytbing will be fine means nothing right now, cuz I know during this time how I felt-& like you I just wanted to get it over with cuz i was sick of stressing, and planning and trying to figure stuff out- but take my word, it WILL BE AMAZING! !!!!!! and it goes by way to fast, so try take deep breaths, relax, and soak it all in

GOOD LUCK

Post # 8
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

Also I wanted to say that during our engagement /wedding planning we delt with wayyyyy more than your average stress. First my grandmother  (who pretty much raised me) was diagnosed with cancer-she passed 2 months later. Then his bestfriend /best man was killed by a drunk driver. His mother was dound unresponsive in her home and passed 2 days later, and then just 2 weeks before the wedding day his grandmother passed. So, on top of you typical wedding stress we had a lot of grief. But looking forward to our wedding gave us something to be happy about . And as I said before,  when the day came nothing matter other than the fact that we were going to be husband & wife! !!  Everything else melted away!  

And also, all those little details I spent months perfecting – I cant tell you how many chalkboard signs I diy’d – I didnt even notice!!!  I had to ask my mother how the ceremony area looked and if wverything I put together turned out nice because when I walked out all i saw was my soon to be husband!  I remember weeks before thinking omg how am I going to walk out infront all thise people!- how am I gonna stand there infront of everyone…  I SAW NO ONE BUT HIM!! I know there was alot of people there during the ceremony but it could have been 2 or 200 for all it mattered because all I saw was the love of my life, standing up there crying-looking at me with such love, in that moment everything felt perfect. 

I hope my words (although I said many) will bring you some comfort. 

Best wishes to you, your day will be everything you hoped for and more

Post # 9
Member
203 posts
Helper bee

That’s exactly how I felt too–sending hugs!  I felt like my entire life revolved around the wedding and it really affected my emotional health.  It is very normal to get so stressed, especially with your day next month.  Please know that in the end, you will be married to your best friend and that truly is all that matters.  My day ended up being everything I wanted and more, but yes, I am STILL so happy that it’s over, 3 months down the line.  I don’t miss planning at all!

Post # 11
Member
4243 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Wedding planning actually sucks.  No joke.  If you’re not into the details and the frills and deciding if you want ivory or eggshell white table cloths…it’s an INSANELY stressful part of your life.  I was absolutely relieved when our wedding was over.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED the day and it was totally worth all the stress…but I was super duper surprised at how unromantic planning a wedding is.  Your day will be totally worth this, I promise!  I know it doesn’t feel that way right now, but you’ll get to the day and realize how awesome it is that you’re marrying a wonderful guy.

Post # 12
Member
1865 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I LOVED planning my wedding up until about the last 3 weeks.  Then, I started feeling an insane amount of stress.  One of my co-maids of honor kept wanting me to specifically delegate every possible Maid/Matron of Honor task between the two of them.  (Who will lace my dress, who will hold my bouquet, who will deliver my gift to my fiance…)My Mother-In-Law would call me 5-10 times per day in an absolute panic about minor details of the wedding.  (What flavor of Listerine to put in the bathroom baskets, what color bucket to get for the sand to put out the sparklers in….) In the situation regarding the buckets, she called me until I pulled over my car to answer.  Then she texted me photos of each possible bucket.  Then she begged me to drive to the store to see them in person before deciding.  Clearly, some of my loved ones handle stress in odd ways, and I just couldn’t take it.  I eventually ended up calling my fiance at work sobbing one day that I needed everyone to just leave me alone.  He obviously dealt with the issue somehow,  because I was able to peacefully enjoy the last week or so.  (Though I admittedly felt a little guilty for freaking out.)  So I guess what I am trying to say is, what you’re feeling is normal.  Don’t be afraid to escape from it for a little while so you don’t pull out all your hair before the big day.

Post # 13
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

snowflakebee:  Sorry you’re going through this! It really sucks but you’re on the right track. Just focus on why you’re getting married and enjoy these final few weeks of being engaged. Don’t let other people get you down, they don’t mean to let you down and probably have things going on in their own lives.  When the day comes, they’ll step up and be there. Just focus on what you can control and remember to enjoy the day! The final few weeks of our wedding planning, we focused on figuring out our honeymoon itinerary. Find something to take your mind off the stress and look forward to relaxing with your new spouse!

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