(Closed) emotional..but I love my waiting bees. help!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

*huggles* Oh mama, here is what you do! Let go & Let God (or whichever diety you choose).

I think the waiting period makes us all insecure and doesn’t bring out the best in us.

I think that it is unhealthy to compair your relationship with your SO to his previous relationship with That Chick. You aren’t her. He isn’t with her. He broke up with her. He is with you. You guys are happy. It’s the waiting that is making you nuts. Just accept that and know that what makes your SO love you…is YOU! Wonderful, wonderful you.

Don’t worry about this chick. Don’t think about how she lives her life or how she SEEMS on the internet. Everyone is different from how they look on facebook.

Now is not the time to doubt your relationship. Now is not the time to doubt how AWESOME you, Seashells7, are. In Waiting, we have to be uber confident. Love is a battlefield (woah-oo-oh-oo-oh-oo-ohhh WE ARE YOUNG!) and we cannot seem weak while on the quest for the sparky grail.

“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
― Dr. Seuss


Post # 4
340 posts
Helper bee

Don’t ever compare yourself with someone else. She may be more high on life than you, but you are more faithful and trustworthy than her and I am sure have millions other better qualities than she does. You need to be more confident and think about the things you know your SO loves about you. They broke up and didn’t get back together for a reason.

I totally know what you mean about being jealous though. My boyfriend dated a psycho girl that was gorgeous and super skinny and then another cheater that was beautiful and I am average, but know I have a really great personality and a really good heart and he loves me for that because I am me and not them.

Give yourself way more credit than you are!!

Post # 5
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@anthrogirl Give yourself way more credit than you are!! THIS!

He is with YOU not her for a reason. Try not to sweat it, control your mind and focus on the positives, you two have a great relationship and she is his past. And you know what, maybe go ahead and take his advice, maybe you can try to be a little more relaxed with some things, and please take that as constructive criticism and not snarkiness, no one is perfect we all have room for improvement…hugs!

Post # 6
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It’s hard but you eventually do have to just let it go. Else the negativity will build on itself. Love you for you! She’s carefree? You rock in bed. (I don’t know this but I’m aiming for a smile!) 

I feel you though, I tend to compare myself to the others that my SO liked/dated, it’s not fair to do this to yourself though. There are things your SO wouldn’t change about you for the world. Focus on those awesome traits! There are things we would love to change about each other but then, we wouldn’t be us anymore πŸ™‚

PS- Hopefully as we wise up and mature this bad habit will stifle itself!

Post # 7
646 posts
Busy bee

YOURE the one he is with! YOURE the one he is gonna MARRY!!!!!

I understand though..SO will bring up randomly “this girl I used to date”, and it makes me FUME!!! But, I just remind myself that he had a life before me (shocking, I know!) just like I had a life before him!! Its so easy to compare, but remember, that its YOU he is with now!!! So forget about her

Post # 9
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Seashells7:  HUGS! You are from what I read a super cool chick. You need to know that!

  Your SO is with you and NOT her for a reason! And trust me I know waiting makes you think crazy things like ” he doesn’t love me…” ” maybe he wants to be with someone else” Or you-” Maybe he wants someone more like his ex”

  But sweetie HE IS GOING TO MARRY YOU!!! WOOHOO…Then you can go on FB and instagram and post pictures of you two being super cute with your PRETTY RING!!!


Post # 11
65 posts
Worker bee

@Seashells7:  I have dealt with some of this in the past. My SO was actually a reader in his ex’s wedding and we frequently see her, they are still friends and in the same group of friends. I can tell you, firsthand, that this kind of stuff will eat you up if you let it.


Forget about her. Their relationship was obviously broken. Also, I try to keep in mind that much of what ppl post on social media is bs. Everyone always wants to appear happy and perfect, that  isn’t always the case.  Hang in there, you’re almost through this!

Post # 12
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Everyone in this thread has made wonderful points, worded better than I could.  So I’ll just point out one little thing to you:  It seems as though this ex was so carefree and breezy that she forgot she had a boyfriend, or at least to treat him well.  Maybe it’s a good thing you aren’t that carefree πŸ˜‰

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