(Closed) Emotions and insults over my e-ring

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
7437 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Maybe you could get a more vintage style wedding band to go with it?

Post # 4
3588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@Mspinkstar:  In a way it’s good that it’s a solitaire that you are upset with because you can do lots of things with it. Put it in a setting with “more,” use an enhancer, get a nice and blingy wedding ring.

But that doesn’t change the size of the center diamond,  sorry. I hope that you can get this worked out. It’s really hard to compalin to a Fiance about the size of a stone, you need to tread carefully there. The setting is, In My Humble Opinion, a different matter. Having conversations about how you love the stone but would like it in a different setting is something I would do. I wouldn’t, likely, talk about how the size make me unhappy.

I wouldn’t care a bit about what “his” family think of it, and I think you are spinning what-ifs to think that they will look down on him for getting a small ring. Maybe yes, maybe no, but they may also be frugal people or ones who don’t care about that kind of stuff, “wealthy” doesn’t mean that they spend it and flaunt it.


Post # 5
9674 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@Cory_loves_this_girl:  +1

Or get a more your style ring wrap that will go around your ring to make it more your style. If you feel comfortable asking your Fiance to get the diamond reset you could do that instead with a more your style setting.

Post # 6
1621 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

1. People can be assholes.  You can’t let that bug you.  No matter what style or size of ring, there’s always the possibility that some asshat will say something rude. Including his family.  Best defense is to come up with a witty response or 2 you can wield against such idiocy when it  occurs.

2.  Your Fiance obviously wanted to make a good choice, and prioritized quality over quantity.  I think that was the right decision.  He chose the ring to symbolize your love…timeless and perfect, high quality and classic. Understated and enduring.

3.  While it may not be your style….and there’s lots of opinions about who should choose the ring……the fact remains is that the ring is purchased, worn and unable to be returned.  You have 2 choices:  a) choose a band more of your liking to go along with the original ring…and this shouldn’t be too difficult since it’s a style very easy to mix and match bands with, and 2) tell your Fiance that you don’t like the style and feel very strongly about having the stone re-set into another setting more of your liking.  Myself…I’d go with option #1 and just change my mind about the ring.  Is it that easy? I believe it is.  An engagement ring isn’t the be all and end all of life, it’s meant to be a gift from one to another to symbolize the commitment being made, and as such (I think) should ideally reflect both parties.  I would learn to love it because my beloved had chosen it specifically for me.

I know you’re in a tough situation and I feel for you.  But at the same time, it’s *just* a ring, and the meaning and intention behind it is what really matters.  I hope you find a solution that works for you! 🙂

Post # 8
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Have you considered an enhancer? Fortunately my FH and I agree on a 3 stone ring, but if he got a solitaire I’d totally get an enhancer

Post # 9
11270 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Mspinkstar:  congrats on your engagement and welcome to the hive.

the only person who needs to love your ering is you.  you are the one wearing it.  it sounds like a beautiful stone.  there are many ways to make your solitaire appear like a different style ring.  are you familiar with ring wraps or enhancers?  you can keep the ring you have and add to it for the look you want.  bottom line, i’m sure that your fi just wants you to be happy.

here are some examples.

Post # 10
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Mspinkstar:  Another possibility which my mom’s friend did (honestly I find this weird and wouldn’t do it myself but to each their own!)- On different anniversaries her husband has bought more diamonds and had them added to the ring- the original diamond is actually to the side now accenting a much bigger diamond! (and she doesn’t remember which one of the accent diamonds is the original.. ughh…)

Post # 11
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Mspinkstar:  Hi there. I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better after posting – I understand, sometimes just sharing a problem makes it feel much smaller! I am surprised that you have had nasty comments about your ring as I think 0.4cts is a really good size for the UK. Your boss sounds horrid, I wouldn’t waste any more time thinking about what she said. As for the people saying your ring is dainty, are you sure they aren’t talking about the band? I have people say my ring is “dainty” with a “big stone” because my band is 1.9mm tapering to extremely thin (my stone is 0.45cts). My best friend got engaged recently with a large emerald, but when I saw it the ring person my first thought was “it’s gorgeous and so dainty” because the band and halo can only be 1.5mm thick max. Personally, “dainty” is what I love! So some people might be meaning to make a compliment but just touching a nerve if you’re already sensitive about it.

I am glad that you are able to look at the symbolism and love behind it and that you will get a band you love soon. I think that’s the ideal situation.  I was going to add that you are lucky that you prefer vintage styles, because IF you ever decided to change the setting you could easily keep the diamond but put it in a vintage halo, or a setting with milgrain, or add sidestones. My ring is quite art deco in style and since our stones are very close in size I thought I would show you for an idea of what you could do. Centre stone is 0.45cts, sides are 0.15 each, ring size UK M. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

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