Enagagement Blues

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

If other people are paying for the majority of your wedding I’m not sure what his problem is. If he doesn’t get out of his funk where your wedding isn’t a priority and he doesn’t even want to discuss it, you might want to consider a 2018 wedding instead.

Post # 3
Member
5567 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

 I know you’re excited but I think your priorities are skewed. It might take him a while to find a job. He might go on many, many interviews and not get hired for a long time.

Instead of trying to save and put away for whatever expenses might not be covered by your family, don’t you think you should be putting away for the lack of income you are about to face?

You have two kids. Are you able to manage on one income alone?

In all honesty, you need to be budgeting, not pinteresting.

Post # 4
Member
4252 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

In 2016 my husband spend 8 of the 12 months without a job.  8. Months.  We weren’t expecting it, we didn’t think it would take him as long to find another job as it did, and lordy did it affect our marriage.  It tested us to the extreme as a couple.  We fought a lot.  We had short tempers with each other.  Frankly it was exhausting.  It didn’t stop us from living our lives, but we absolutely had to make priorities.  Thankfully we had a good savings to lean on but if we didn’t, I don’t know how we would have gotten through.

Your priorities are INSANELY skewed right now.  I know you’re excited to plan a wedding.  I get it.  But right now the focus has to be getting through until he finds a job.  I don’t care if other people are paying for most of the wedding, there WILL be additional expenses that you do not foresee that you have to pay for.  Put the wedding on hold.  If you absolutely want a 2017 marriage, then go to the courthouse and postpone the party until 2018.  Support your fiance in any way you can.  Find other hobbies to take your mind off of obsessively planning your wedding.  Get him a job first, then plan your party.

Post # 5
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

mombridevet :  I’m so sorry, bee 🙁  I know that feeling sucks of being excited, and then reality sets in that there are other things at hand that need more immediate attention and need to be addressed.  Hoping he finds a decent job soon!  You’ll both make it through this.  You have each other, and it seems like your love for each other can get you all through tough times!  Keep your head up for yourself and for him!  Blessings! 

Post # 6
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel

If I were you I’d plan a 2018 wedding to ease some of the pressure 

Post # 8
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

ljm308 :  This is my life, especially with the short tempers, I found it extremely hard to adjust to Darling Husband not going to work and staying home, I had no idea it would take him so long to find a new job,  Its great to hear about someone goign through something similar and coming out the other side.

 

OP you did just get engaged, so you have every right to plan or pinterest in your downtime.  Obviously you know you cannot get completely consumed in it and not budget or help Fiance look for a job, but if you have some down time and want to plan your wedding, dont feel guilty about it!  But know you may have to post pone until 2018, that doesnt mean your pinterst board has to change though! Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

mombridevet :  I had a 2 year engagement and it was less stressful did one thing at a time and it was great getting married in 2018 is less than 2 years and i think it would benefit the both of you to have some ease and less stress… But it seems like a lot of bees get engaged and want a wedding less than a year from when they got the ring and i honestly don’t know how every pulls it off but in your situation you should give it a little extra time… 

Post # 10
Member
4252 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

“He expressed how bad he feels that He proposed and that i cant fully enjoy the engagement because of this-and I reassured him(the best i could) that this is what its all about through thick and thin, although i cant deny how my feelings either-IM PISSED LOL!”

Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/enagagement-blues/#ixzz4U9MpmzAD

That is why I feel you aren’t fully supporting him and are more focused on planning a wedding.  “I’m pissed LOL!”  Sure you said “LOL” afterward, but it’s obvious this is affecting you.  Which…I don’t blame you because being the employed person in an unemployment sucks, but if you have secret Pinterest boards and are spending all your time planning this could absolutely build resentment in time.  Unemployment is rough across the board.  Focus your time now on supporting him the best you can.

Post # 14
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

mombridevet :  I totally get it, Darling Husband was also laid off close to our wedding and has had a hard time finding a new job, hes had a few but nothing “just right” it takes time, but a wedding is still super important, and if you arent 100% financing it then enjoy being engaged and planning a wedding, I was planning my wedding before I was even engaged so I see nothing wrong with it!

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