(Closed) Enaged in Nursing School

posted 5 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 2
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Southern Plantation House

I recently got engaged and our wedding date is set for this summer, one week before I begin nursing school! My parents are also very graciously paying for my school tuition. I don’t believe it is wrong to be married and accept financial help. It would be different if I asked them for help, but they have offered, something I am extremely grateful for! I also believe being married in nursing school will be much easier than dating. I cannot wait to not have the “when are you free?” and “who’s apartment do we want to hang out at tonight?” conversations anymore! I’m very excited to start the new chapter of our lives and I know that this is perfect timing for us as we have been dating 4 and a half years. 

Post # 3
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

bac0731:  Honestly, I would have a discussion about this to your parents. They probably know it’s coming, but aren’t sure where you two are exactly in your relationship. Some parents wouldn’t mind, but I’ve heard horror stories about when people assume.  I wouldn’t give them an exact outline except that you all have been talking about marriage lately (since 5 years is a long time! that’s when my husband and I got engaged! ) and while you still want to focus 100% on your school and wont marry until after you graduate, how would being engaged effect your current situation. Most parents just want to be in the loop when it comes to money.  I will admit, once you do get engaged, your mind will be on your wedding a LOT more than right now. I had a hard time the semester before my wedding with studying for finals and such.

Post # 5
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Accepting financial help can be done at any time.

Demanding or expecting financial help is another story, and I’m of the opinion that if you’re old enough to be married, your old enough to support yourself without relying on your parents. (Though, once again, if they offer, there’a nothing wrong with accepting a gift.)

The engaged area is a tricky area in regards to that.  It’s up to your parents.

Post # 7
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: A restaurant on the beach

I think it’s appropriate to accept financial help from your parents because you are perusing a higher degree/ professional school. Your parents are giving you a gift by continuing to help support you and as long as you continue with nursing school and stick to a plan to eventually get off of their bill (which it seems you are doing) I don’t see any reason why you should feel guilty or refuse their help. 

Personally, I start medical school this summer. I won’t be able to support myself for the next five years but my parents have already promised to help me irregardless of when the boyfriend proposes. We are blessed to have such wonderful (and financially stable) parents. We should accept their gift, continue working hard, and make them proud. Just my two cents. 

Post # 8
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I think you should do what makes you happy and don’t worry if others think it is ‘inappropriate’ to be financially dependent on your parents while engaged. You have a faboulous reason to be dependent and as long as your parents are happy to support you, it shouldnt matter.

I myself am 4 months into med school and just got engaged. I’m in Australia though, and we defer all uni payments and have been fortunate with scholarshops so I am able to support myself completely. My Fiance on the other hand still lives at home, and works part-time. He recently finished his studies and is job seeking.

He was sure that he wanted to wait until he was more financially stable before getting engaged because he though it mattered to other people. But it just didnt work out that way and nobody blinks an eye.

Post # 9
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I don’t see a problem with getting engaged while you are in nursing school. It’s tough to plan a wedding and go to school, but if you have time to plan, you should be okay. Everybody has this train of thought that if you get married you should be totally independent, but that isn’t always the case. I don’t think your parents helping with tuition and rent means you aren’t independent, it just means that you want to better your life through education and your parents want to assist you in that goal. It’s very different from living in the basement and doing nothing. FWIW, I graduated from nursing last night and my fiance and I are getting married in September. We also live together, I have 2 children, and he has 1. My parents have helped us out a lot. Not always with money, but with babysitting, making dinners, etc. They have been a huge support. And so has his mom. She is constantly sending us clothes for the kids, paintings (her art is beautiful), and stuff we need for the house. It’s what parents do who want to see their children succeed. I will probably do the same for my kids. So yeah. Remember to always say thank you and get married when you think it’s right for you guys.

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