(Closed) Encore bride? Please help me with these questions!!

posted 6 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I don’t see where there is much difference in an encore bride versus a 1st timer.  This will be my 2nd go-round, and as far as planning, I believe the same rules generally apply.

Post # 4
Member
1975 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I dont understand why there needs to be books ect JUST for 2nd time brides. There are plenty of wedding books, tools, sites ect that are for ALL weddings

Post # 6
Member
1975 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@fivemonthsnotice:  so skip that bit in the book?

sorry i may come across as rude in this comment but i just think you are making a big deal out of nothing. All the wedding books, planners, apps, and sites tell me to hire a wedding coordinator so those sections i skip over because i dont want to. they tell me to register for gifts. i skip over because im not doing that. the tell me to buy a morning dress and a night dress for the day i dont even know what that is!

Post # 7
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

There’s not enough difference to create something seperately.

PS I’m an encore bride and I would love some china if we were having a regular wedding.

Post # 8
Member
7746 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I also didn’t feel any need for anything different.  I just did what I wanted to do.  I dont’t recall thinking at all about my status as an encore.

Post # 9
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

It’s weird reading books on brides because most seem fall into two categories: 1) dewy, 20-something bride getting married in a lavish wedding the first time around having never lived with her b/f; or 2) older divorcee bride trying to get over her past marriage and fold her kids into the new marriage with a b/f who also has kids from his first marriage.  What about us 20-somethings who had a starter marriage where there were no kids and no property issues in the divorce marrying a guy who has never been married or who also had a starter marriage?

My FH wants to full ceremony and reception because he has never been married before.  I want to elope because I know planning a wedding is stressful and expensive, not to mention I am embarassed to invite friends and family to my second wedding.  However, I will compromise because he has never had a wedding and it’s an important rite of passage for him.

Post # 10
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Oh and I picked up a copy of Emotionally Engaged and it is practically useless because it is all stuff I dealt with the first time around and not much of it is helpful for this wedding since I have already transitioned from a bride into a wife before.

Post # 11
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’ve looked at some stuff for encore brides before and have walked away disappointed because it just doesn’t apply. It generally talks about blended family issues, incorporating children into the ceremony and assumes that I’m an ‘older bride’ marrying a previously married man. Also that I had a ‘big’ wedding when I was previously married. 

I’m only a few years older than most brides marrying for the first time, have no children and am marrying a man who has never been married before. My previous wedding was modest and tasteful and this one will be similarly so.  There are some things I’d love help navigating, but once I skip over the stuff that doesn’t apply to my situation, there’s nothing left besides telling me I shouldn’t wear a veil.

Post # 12
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@beachbride1216:   I could have just skipped over writing my own reply and added a ‘ditto’ to yours. Glad to know there’s others in the same situation on this board.

Post # 13
Member
2903 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I was an encore bride and honestly I just went with my gut on most things. Darling Husband and I had a big wedding (he really wanted a big wedding and has not been previously married)…so I caved and then it became a “I have to top my first wedding”..lol. My guest list was pretty small compared to my DH’s. and I made sure to cut out most of the stuff that made my first wedding so stressful and I now knew what to expect. So actually, it was easier this time around!

Post # 14
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

While I do agree that it’s your wedding and should have whatever you want you also wanted some guidance. A first time bride getting married in her 20’s/30’s doesn’t question is it ok to:

Have her father walk her down the aisle?

Wear white? Does it signify pruity? Tradition?

Wear a veil?

Fall in love with a strapless or long dress?

Have the garter/bouquet toss?

Maybe a 2nd time bride feels she should be “age appropriate” and doesn’t know if the same guidelines apply to her like a first time bride. For me I had my son walk me down the aisle, I wore ivory, no veil but a crystal headband, wore a strapless long lace wedding gown and passed on the garter/bouquet toss. It was one of the best days of my life and wouldn’t let any book tell me what’s right, what’s wrong to do. If anyone didn’t like what they saw they should have closed their eyes!!!!

 

Post # 15
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Not an encore bride, but I do think a book geared towards encore brides who are not blending families would be a good thing.

Even if most of the traditions etc are the same, the thought processes are not and someone doesnt want to feel like they are “not normal” in relation to their guidance book.

Think of it this way. There are soooo many cookbooks. Someone could take a regular cookbook and decide to alter the recipes to be gluten free or low cal, but they would rather someone tell them the details behind the recipe changes. Not make them do the work and feel like they are not worth of a gluten free cookbook.

Post # 16
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i was an encore bride and i found the planning to be pretty easy.

of course there are always questions about who walks the bride down the aisle, what should the bride wear, bridal registries, how to incorporate families, etc.

 

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