Post # 1
I was just reading the shower post on the encore board and wanted to spinoff of that.
I’ve been feeling guilty about not telling my coworkers that I am an encore bride. I got married first time at 21, before I graduated college and had my “real” job. FI and I had a planned elopement a week ago in Vegas and we’re having our reception in a few weeks, not quite 9 years later.
I think my boss might plan a work shower/party for me, but I haven’t told anyone that I am an encore bride. Does that matter? Am I allowed to have a fresh slate or does there need to be an asterik? We have a honeyfund but no other registry since we are established at home (I have all my china from round 1 ha ha).
Thanks for your input!
Post # 3
i don’t think it really makes much of a difference. if they choose to throw you a shower it’s b/c they want to not b/c they think you need one.
p.s. i still have a few items from my previous shower/wedding too.
Post # 4
I don’t think you need to tell them. They don’t need to know such personal details about your life.
Post # 5
They do not need to know personal history, they are throwing you a shower and that is really wonderful! all brides can have showers. Plus the new things will help you start your new married life together, so in a way it really is a fresh slate, enjoy it!
Post # 6
I agree with PPs, definitely not their business, they don’t need to know.
Post # 7
If you aren’t close enough friends with them that they don’t already know that you were married once, I don’t think you need to be obligated to tell them now.
Post # 8
A wedding is a wedding, and encore or not, it’s a reason to celebrate! I don’t think you need to broadcast that you’re an encore bride to the world because, honestly, it shouldn’t matter. Your coworkers just want to show you how happy they are for you by throwing you a shower/party, and I’m sure they wouldn’t be any less happy for you if they knew you were an encore bride.
Post # 9
I don’t think you need to tell them…I am curious why would it be a problem with them thorwing you a shower and you accepting? It is a celebration and its not like you got married 6 months ago got divorced and are getting married again to another person…like when you have babies when they are so far apart (9 years) they don’t say don’t give her another shower because she already has a girl it is definitely starting over again with a 9 year old and a newborn you know what I mean?
Post # 10
Thanks for the advice and support! I think I will let it slide and just see what happens. I don’t think they’d change any plans if they knew I was an encore, I just don’t really want the shower to be about this time versus last time, or asking about my prior relationship–not that anyone probably would, it doesn’t seem rational, but I don’t want people focusing on the fact that I am divorced.
Not sure if a shower is really in the works, 3 weeks from today I’ll be on my honeymoon and I haven’t heard anything.
Cross your fingers for me, I kinda would like to have one but I am not going to ask anyone to throw me one.
Post # 11
Wait…people throw showers for encores? Really? What if I don’t want one, we’ve both been on our own (separately) for a lot of years and own homes, we really don’t need anything or expect to have anything more than a beach wedding and a celebration with friends. No gifts, ever.
Post # 12
No need to go out of your way to tell them. If someone asked, I wouldn’t lie but otherwise no it’s not their business.