(Closed) Encores – how do you feel about having a shower?

posted 6 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

If someone is willing to throw a shower in your honor I say go for it.  At the very least it will be a nice afternoon or brunch with your new family members.

Post # 4
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yes you had a shower the 1st time….for a different marriage….

Why shouldn’t you have a shower? 

Post # 5
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I didn’t want one initially, but I’m in a new city and have a new circle of friends this time around.

I wasn’t comfortable registering for anything, so I worked with my friend who threw the shower to organize a recipe shower. She sent recipe cards with the invitations, along with small blank cards for guests to write restaurant recommendations, cooking tips, etc on. They’re all assembled in a colorful book now.

It was great. Who doesn’t want a party with family and friends? And giving it a “theme” like that alleviated the gift pressure.

I understand where you’re coming from, but I also encourage you to let people help you celebrate. That’s what they’re looking for here. 🙂

Post # 6
1934 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Eh, I say whatever you’re comfortable with.  I did not have a shower this time around, but I sortof feel like HIS family should have thrown me one….as a welcome to the family or something.  I know no one is obliged, so I’m not upset about it.  But I think it’s nice.  If people want to throw you one, go for it!

Post # 7
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I hate showers, so I turned down anyone who asked–for either my first or second marriage.  But if you like the idea, and someone is willing to throw one, there is nothing wrong with accepting.

Post # 8
688 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think there’s much you can do other than accept gracefully if some one else is wanting to do it!  But IMO, I wouldn’t really want a shower, I feel like I’m set in my ways, and between Fiance and I we could put together the basics we need to start a life so I would not choose to have it on my own.  But then if people are insisting on giving one, wouldn’t it be not nice to say no to it?

Post # 9
375 posts
Helper bee

I’m not expecting on or even encouraging it, but if some of our friends decided they wanted to throw one, I guess I wouldn’t stop them.

I might feel a little self-conscious, though, since I’ve been down that road twice before and, really, we don’t need anything (we already live together and have a full house of stuff), but if someone wants to celebrate you and your marriage, the best thing is to let them and have as much fun as you can 🙂

Post # 10
4948 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I wasn’t expecting one, and personally, I’d have felt strange about it. Not because it’s a second marriage, but because we both had owned homes and really had everything we needed. My good friend/neighbor wanted to have one and I told her I felt weird about it, so we didn’t.


Post # 11
9884 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m not expecting a shower and we’ve made it clear to our family and friends that we don’t expect wedding gifts, either.  We’re in our 40’s with an established household, we really don’t need anything.  We’ve told them we want their presence, which is gift enough for us.

However, if encores would like to receive gifts / showers, I don’t see anything wrong with it.

Post # 12
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

If someone wants to throw it and people want to come, why not?

Post # 13
5073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I politely declined the offer.  I’m 42 – Fiance and I have everything we need.   I saw no need for a shower.   

Post # 14
5064 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

If someone willing to throw you a celebration then go for it. I don’t think I’ll have one again as the 1st has bad memories but that’s just my experience. I’d would love one if my friends were up for it.

Post # 15
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I had 2 “smallish” (12 people or fewer) showers over the last two weekends.  Didn’t have any the first time around.  Both showers were completely awesome for completely different reasons.  I can’t believe how much time, thought and effort went into them.  And I could tell the hostesses were so glad to do it for me.

I felt strangely about having one shower, let alone 2, for a long time.  But now I’m so glad I didn’t tell them no, that time with friends and family was amazing.  I say go for it!

Post # 16
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Do what makes you comfortable. My Maid/Matron of Honor is throwing me a shower, and I’m tickled pink. I’ve never had one before.

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