(Closed) Encores: The last name? To take or not?

posted 12 years ago in Encore
  • poll: Are you changing your last name?

    Yes - it will be legally be that of my new husband

    Sort of - I will socially go by my new husband's last but will not officially change it

    Sort of - I am hyphenating it or using a double last name (if so, what about your middle name?)

    No - I go by my maiden name or my previous husband's last (please specify which)

    Other - I'll explain in the comments

  • Post # 17
    7052 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    This is something that’s really got me bugged as of late.  I am a mom so there’s def my son to consider but I wish to carry my guy’s last name too.

    This is so confusing.  And to me the only really confusing part at all of being an encore bride!

    The rest is just amazing 🙂

    Post # 18
    4566 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    @bellenga- could you drop your maiden name and hyphanate with your son’s last name and your guy’s last name? Or would that be too weird?

    Post # 19
    1900 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I don’t have kids from my first marriage and am not planning on having any. I changed back to my maiden name and am planning on keeping it. I don’t want to legally change my name, but I don’t mind if people call me by MY FIRST HIS LAST. I feel wierd about this sometimes but I just can’t stand the thought of changing my name again.

    Post # 20
    705 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I changed back to my maiden name after the divorce and was planning on keeping it that way. However it means a lot to my groom that I take his name.   I understand that and my first marriage isn’t his fault. Plus once we have kids I would like us all to share the same name.

    Post # 21
    145 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I had to work REALLY hard to return to my maiden name (aka get out of the marriage) and to legally change my youngest daughters last name from his to my own so I am keeping my maiden name!

    Post # 22
    34 posts
    • Wedding: October 2010

    when i was divorced i immediately went back to my maiden name, even before it was final!  i was very happy to get my maiden name back, it was like finding your favorite jeans that have been hiding in the closet- when you put them back on you realize how much you’ve missed that perfect fit and feel.

    my beloved is puerto rican, and has two last names.  they (p.r.s) do all sorts of things with their last names. .. . the women might just take the husband’s, keep the dads, use both. .. . so he doesnt mind whatever i want to do. . . . right now i am leaning toward adding his (first) last name as another middle name (i love my middle name, not giving it up) and using mine most the time. 

    i wont care if anyone assumes i took his predominantly, though. the kids will have his name, might give them mine as a middle name. .. .

    Post # 23
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    @crimson:  I did the same thing, i.e., *immediately* went back to using my maiden name before the ink had even begun to dry on the final decree!  And I couldn’t have described the feeling any better than you did – it truly felt like a homecoming. 

    I will, however, be taking my FI’s last name.  But it’s not just for him, it’s really for me.  He is okay with me keeping my current last name (for my profession) but I really want to have his last name.  I could care less about how tedious the process may be! 

    Post # 24
    455 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We’re hypenating both of our last names.  He’s taking my name too!  How awesome is it.  The only thing we haven’t decided on is which name goes first.  I want mine and he wants his.  We’ll see.  But I think will do this thing in alphabetical order, just to be fair.  lolLaughing

    Post # 25
    2271 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I am using my maiden name as my middle name since all my degrees have that name on them.

    Post # 26
    228 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I’m with Belenga on this one, it’s REALLY hard.  Fiance wants me to change his name.  I kept my XH’s last name becasue of my kids.  Now I’ve had that last name for 15 years and it feels weird t change it now.  Fiance doesn’t get it AT ALL. 

    I want to use both but not hyphenate.  It would be long.  But I think in NJ if you move it to a middle name they just put the initial on your driver’s license but I want both names spelled out so I “match” both my sons AND the new hubby.  If you don’t hypenate them can you still put both on your DL and passport and then mix and match?  If anyone actually knows message me!

    Post # 27
    146 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    i am keeping my last name and adding his, so i will have my daughters name as well as fi’s. 

    her name is jade betheny mylast-dadslast

    Post # 28
    1514 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I changed to his name.  I had kept my ex’s name because I hated my maiden name and figured for my kids it was easier.  But it wouldn’t be right for me to keep it with my new husband.

    Post # 29
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    changing it. I only kept ex’s name because it’s also my sons. He’s 13 now, and is fine with me changing it.

    Post # 30
    401 posts
    Helper bee

    I CANNOT wait to get rid of my ex’s last name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Wink

    Post # 31
    13 posts

    I am so torn about this!  Like many others, I immediately went back to my maiden name and was so thrilled to have it back.  I don’t want to let go of it again…  Fiance thinks “the hassle” is not a good enough reason.  But it’s more than that… and it’s really hard to articulate the reason.   

    I think the compromise will be keep my maiden name and socially go by his.  May change it when we have children.  I want our kids to take his name and don’t want them to see me as separate. 


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