(Closed) Encores: The last name? To take or not?

posted 11 years ago in Encore
  • poll: Are you changing your last name?

    Yes - it will be legally be that of my new husband

    Sort of - I will socially go by my new husband's last but will not officially change it

    Sort of - I am hyphenating it or using a double last name (if so, what about your middle name?)

    No - I go by my maiden name or my previous husband's last (please specify which)

    Other - I'll explain in the comments

  • Post # 32
    Member
    7052 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Well to make things even wierder w/the name change thing..my son asked T last weekend when we were out of town at my grandma’s funeral for the weekend if he could change HIS last name to FI’s last name when I get married.  He said “well I want to feel married too” (11 yo are cute).  He wants to have same last name as him b/c he’s basically “dad” to him far more than his bio dad is.

    Post # 33
    Member
    10 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I didn’t change it the first time around. This time I can’t wait to change it and feel fully apart of my FI’s family. It will feel more like being apart of their shared history.

    Post # 34
    Member
    8 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I had always said that I wouldn’t change my name again and FH is okay with that. But, he is quite an old fashioned guy so I am going to surprise him on our wedding day and when I sign the paper I will sign with his name. Now, if I can just keep it a secret for the next year and a half 🙂

    Post # 35
    Member
    7052 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Let’s keep this discussion going..it’s interesting!

    Post # 36
    Member
    226 posts
    Helper bee

    I didnt change my name the first time around. This time I plan to. I want it to be forever this time and I think this is a symbolic way I can let my FH know that he is the one I shouldve married the first time around. However I wil prob keep my maidan name as a middle name… and keep my actual middle name as well.

    Post # 37
    Member
    7052 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I am so wondering about this name thing still.

    Love to hear even more encores and their ideas.

    I do agree w/you Trishisadish, that is does mean alot to the groom.  T def wants me to have his last name. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    118 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I am definitely changing my name. I am a doctor, which means that professionally it will be a big pain in the a**, but I believe that having the new name is a declaration of your commitment to your husband and your future. I am the ultimate feminist, but this is the only sensible decision for me.  My parents totally believe that changing your name is important for your future children and the family unit as a whole. They are totally in support. It will be weird initially, but I would never consider having a different name from my husband.

    Post # 39
    Member
    521 posts
    Busy bee

    I’ve had my maiden name back for 12 years (I took it back after divorce). I want to take HIS last name so everyone will know we belong together! kinda sappy, I know, but that’s how I feel.

    Post # 40
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I kept my ex’s (weird!) last name since we have kids.

    I cannot wait to get rid of it!

    I think if I had taken my maiden name back after the divorce I might feel a bit differently..

    Post # 41
    Member
    3316 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I kept my own last name throughout the twenty years of my first marriage.  NotFroofy and I each kept our separate last names this time, too.

    I do have an issue with the idea that it is a “compromise” to use the husband’s surname just for some purposes. Would you try to insist that your husband change his name to yours, and “compromise” that he got to use his own name for some purposes?  I think not.  So why do so many treat it as reasonable for the husband to take such an approach with regard to the wife?

    A true compromise is that the husband gets to keep his name, and the wife gets to keep hers.

    Post # 42
    Member
    25 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I kept my ex’s last name for many years (over 10) after the divorse.  2 yrs ago I changed my last name back to my maiden name.  I did not want to get married and have the Rev say “do you B. my ex’s last name take FI’s name”.  It just didn’t seem right to me.  I was planning on taking FI’s last name because I think that he would be hurt if I didn’t, but I just got everything squared away with changing it back to my maiden name (SS card, license, passport, etc.) 

    Any advice?

    Post # 43
    Member
    3316 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    @cg4791, I’m still not understanding the concept that he even gets a vote on this.  Do you get to tell him what his name will be after the wedding?

    Post # 44
    Member
    7052 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Well I’ve decided.  I am taking T’s last name, but also keeping my last name too.  Doing the hyphenation thing again.

    Geez.  My last name will be a heckuva mouthfull!

    Post # 45
    Member
    7052 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Well I’ve decided.  I am taking T’s last name, but also keeping my last name too.  Doing the hyphenation thing again.

    Geez.  My last name will be a heckuva mouthfull!

    Post # 46
    Member
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I know I have posted this before, but I’ll gladly say it again; We will both have my last name, my Fiance wants to take my name.

    The topic ‘Encores: The last name? To take or not?’ is closed to new replies.

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