(Closed) Encores: The last name? To take or not?

posted 12 years ago in Encore
  • poll: Are you changing your last name?

    Yes - it will be legally be that of my new husband

    Sort of - I will socially go by my new husband's last but will not officially change it

    Sort of - I am hyphenating it or using a double last name (if so, what about your middle name?)

    No - I go by my maiden name or my previous husband's last (please specify which)

    Other - I'll explain in the comments

  • Post # 47
    83 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Hyphenating.  After 3 years of fighting to get my maiden name back the last time and having no legal last name for that duration (don’t ask–divorce decree oversight), I figured I am more able to at least have legal identification in one, both, or a hyophenated version of a last name.  While the combination does not roll off the tongue very eloquently (both are one syllable surnames), that’s my plan 🙂

    Post # 48
    1551 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I’m currently using my ex-husband’s last name.  I considered keeping it because I’m an attorney and have had this name my entire legal career…but I can’t do it.  I can’t stand having my ex-husband’s name.  I did not even mention to Fiance that I considered it, because I know he’d be hurt.  He’d be ok with me keeping my maiden name, but NOT the ex-husband’s name.

    So, since I have to change it anyway, I’m going to change to my husband’s last name.  If I had been practicing under my maiden name, I would probably continue to do so, leave my maiden name as my legal name, and go by Mrs. Neva socially.  But since I am going to change it, I want my name to be the same as my future husband.  I’m actually very excited about making the change!

    Post # 49
    1254 posts
    Bumble bee

    I am still debating if I want to take his name. I took the last name of my ex-husband and it was so easy to get it changed from my single name to the married name but the opposite was a disaster. For some reason people don’t take to divorces as kindly as they do with weddings.

    Although I am not anticipating a divorce for this time around (we would’ve been together 5 years on our wedding day), I would totally kick myself if I changed my name and ended up changing it back. Besides, people in my job industry know me by my unusual and hard-to-pronounce last name so it would be a little bit different for me and them especially since my FI’s last name is quite generic.

    Post # 50
    93 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    My Fiance really wants me to take his name.  He was upset when I told him I wasn’t sure I would change it.  He came up with a great idea.  I do not have a middle name, so I am going to legally make my maiden name my MI when I change my last name.  I have grown very fond of the idea.  Hyphenating seems to be a pain.  It is too long.  I know plenty of women who started out hyphenating only to eventually drop the maiden name. 

    Post # 51
    947 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Still debating!!!  I really really like my last name and I’ve published in my field and everyone knows me by my last name…

    I’m thinking I’ll legally change my name; however, professionally, I’ll still use my maiden name. 🙂  I don’t think Fiance will be happy, but its the middle ground!

    Post # 52
    66 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    This is still a debate in our family :/ I have a little girl with my ex, but he’s been AWOL as a father since before her birth really. I didn’t leave him until after she was born, but he never did anything for her before or after her birth. My fiance will be adopting her after we get married, so socially she and I go by his last name, though we legally share her father’s last name.

    Also, since she will be adopted by her dad, and legally sever ties with her father, it has made me think about doing the same. After we discussed my fiance adopting my daughter, I asked my dad if he would go through an adult adoption with me, which would allow me to take his name, and put his name on my birth certificate.

    I want to legally tack on my dad’s last name to my ex’s last name following the adult adoption being finalized, but continue to use my fiance’s last name socially up until my daughter’s last name can be legally changed as well. When her adoption is finalized I plan to drop my ex’s last name and my new ‘maiden’ last name, and take my fiance’s last name legally. Then we will all share a last name.

    My fiance wants me to go through the adoption with my dad, but when we get married, legally change my last name to his, and skip legally using my dad’s completely. He doesn’t think there will be any problem with my daughter and I having different last names legally as long as socially we still both go by his.

    Not sure what compromise we will work out :/

    Post # 53
    9 posts
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I plan to use my maiden name-ex’s last name until my kids are older (they are still in elementary school) and then change it legally to my fiance’s last name once they are older (end of high scholl ish)…

    Post # 54
    64 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    i decided to change my last name to his because right now i have my maiden name, then my kids have their dads, and now my fiance is in the pictures! so imagine that mailbox three last names? no way!  besides, my last name is a person’s name so i’m dying to get it off !

    Post # 55
    126 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I had the ex’s last name.  I went back to my maiden when we divorced (my daughters still have it, though). 

    This time I’m keeping my maiden.  My Fiance requested that I do.  I was all set to change it, but he said he fell in love with “Firstname Maidenname” and couldn’t bear to see it go.  Weird.  He’s usually so traditional.

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