Post # 1
I’m sure there are other posts like this so if you just want to link me to the responses that would be great too 🙂
My husband and I have had two miscarriages now. One was an oops baby so there was sadness, but a feeling that it wasn’t the right time so we found positives in it. This last time around was tougher because we are ready, we were so excited, and although we’ve been reassured by the doctors that it happens fairly frequently and it’s nothing we did wrong, we’re both having difficulty not worrying.
This last pregnancy was a chemical one and the doctor told us that we should go ahead and try again whenever we were ready. I’m just afraid that this will happen every time and I will have a harder time recovering emotionally with each one. Logically, I know that with this pregnancy there was never really even a baby that implanted, but it’s hard when you already felt in love. We did decide to try again this month and we know we don’t have a problem “getting” pregnant. It’s just keeping it.
I guess I need some positive stories of women who have gone through this and had a healthy, happy pregnancy later on 🙂
I’m just struggling with feeling empty and like a failure. Frustrating because I have a wonderful, fulfilling life and I know I’m incredibly lucky in every other area, so I’m annoyed with myself for feeling this way and being so down. I have had multiple friends become pregnant lately and I am grateful that my first feeling is always happiness for them (genuine happiness), but I always feel a tinge of sadness afterwards that I can’t hold onto a pregnancy. Sigh. Just have a hurting heart at the moment.
Post # 3
@wirsbxo: I cannot relate, but I wanted to give you a heartfelt I’m sorry anyway and let you know I am rooting for you. My mom had 5 miscarriages in 5 years before I came along, and she said it never got easier. Everyone was like, “Oh well. You can just try again” but that wasn’t the point. My mom was very blessed in other aspects of her life, but she wanted to be a mom. She was finally successful with me and then my brother 3 years later.
I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you get your BFP very soon.
Post # 4
I am sorry too. I do not know how you feel but if I was in your shoes, I would try to be happy for other things you have in your life.
I’m 37 and my DH is 43 and we are trying for our 1st baby for over 6 months.
We had lengthy discussions about it and we came to the conclusion that we can be very happy with just the 2 of us and if a child comes, it will be a very special gift that both of us really want but we are enough.
If we cannot have a child, we would travel all over the world and be financially set and have everything that we desire.
If there is a child, we would have less in terms of financial wealth but we would have a priceless gift to nuture and grow.
Either way, we saw that we could very happy.
Post # 5
@megz06: Thank you 🙂 genuinely. People do say things like that. Everyone means so well, but sometimes the words come out rough or cause some pain. My mom started reading different blogs and is always telling me how I should change my diet to include x amount of different things. Love her for caring so much and trying to help, but it causes some of that sting and self blame to set in.
Stories like your mom’s give me hope 🙂 I know my life is wonderful and I have an amazing husband, so I can’t be ungrateful if it never happens for me, but I do want to be a mom. That is the simplest way to put it.
Thank you again <3 I hope so too.
p.s. I saw you’re expecting and wanted to give you a huge, heartfelt congratulations! My niece is named Olivia and the name is beautiful, just like her. Perfect choice 🙂
Post # 6
I had a chemical in July and was pregnant again in August. I’m now almost 16w. Hang in there– it is hard, but things DO work out. There are a ton of options these days, no matter if you need reproductive assistance or not. Good luck.
Post # 7
@KS240030: That’s what I try to do 🙂 I think it will get easier with time. It’s just hard to see how sad my husband gets – he is a very nonemotional man and this is something he has always wanted. We would find a way to be happy no matter the circumtances (he is my best friend in everything), but it would be tough for awhile.
Post # 8
@OldMrsMcDonald: <3 I’m so sorry for your loss but SO happy to hear that you’re current pregnancy is going well. Congratulations hun! I’m sure that is one very lucky baby. I will hang on 🙂 Just needed to hear some of the positive situations like yours!
Post # 9
@wirsbxo: I do understand. My husband is an introvert and I know he really wants a child too (I think he wants it more than I do) but he does tell me that I am more than enough to make him happy and to handle. It took us a long time to find each other. I would also suggest that you remind yourself that the strength of your character and willpower truly manifest when you are down and your own determination will shine when things seem hopeless. It is when you are down that you realize your own strength. Like the PP wrote, her mother tried 5 times and her perseverance was rewarded. Always remind yourself, I am strong enough to try one more time.
Post # 10
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, miscarriage can be a very confusing and lonely experience. I had a miscarriage in July and again in October this year, both equally difficult. I think we all start out thinking that pregnancy is a very pure and wonderful experience and then after miscarriage that image changes. The journey to having a family is not as easy as it seems.
With both our miscarriages I’ve found strength in my marriage, my husband is a wonderful person and has been there for me. There are days when I feel very optimistic about the future and then days when I feel like I never want to go through that physical/emotional pain every again. What has helped me the most is knowing that God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle. Just knowing that keeps me looking towards the future.
It’s really great that you were able to share your story here on the bee, sometimes just talking about it helps. Hugs! 🙂
Post # 11
@wirsbxo: Don’t get discouraged. Try to focus on the end result and not so much how/when you get there. I let myself wallow for a day or two after each miscarriage or failed IVF cycle then HAD to pick myself up and move on. Worrying won’t change it, but moving forward in hope and love can make the journey easier to bear. I hope that you tune your Mom out, that junk is so not helpful. I got told so much nonsense and it’s like ” Ya know what people? Back off! Let me do this. Eating only grapefruit or only having sex on Wednesday or whatever else will only make me crazy”. It’s hard and anyone who tells you different hasn’t been there. But it’s doable especially with support. I wish you all the best of luck 🙂
Post # 12
I’m so sorry for your losses, and that you are feeling so discouraged. I don’t know how this feels, but I thought I’d share a story. A good friend of mine had a miscarriage about 7 month’s ago. She was scheduled to go in for her 10 week appointment and get her US and maybe a day ahead, she started bleeding and it was confirmed that it was a MC, unfortunately the baby had passed quite a few weeks before and it took awhile for her body to figure it out.
Today she sent me a picture message of a 6w4d ultra sound. Baby has a perfect little heart beat. It’s early, yes, but usually when mc’s happen, they are a fluke. When you DO get your BFP, go get an early US and a blood test. A blood test can rule out any hormonal imbalances. My friend is on progesterone already, and who knows. Maybe that is the one thing that last baby needed that it never got.
Post # 13
- Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House
My mother was told by a doctor that she would never have a child, tried for a couple years, had a miscarriage, then me, then another miscarriage, then my sister.
All things are possible – she often spoke about taking us to that doctor!
(A word of warning: both pregnancies were very difficult, including early labor and lots of bed rest, but we were both healthy, if a little early!)
Post # 14
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I too have suffered two miscarriages. Each one was crushing. Now I am 6.5 weeks pregnant. So far everything seems to be going fine, but I still approach everything with trepidation. My doctor also told me that my situation was common and normal and did not want to pursue testing after “just” two miscarriages. I am trying to trust her and live my life optimistically. I hope you will find the courage to try again soon.
Post # 15
@wirsbxo: I am in this exact same situation, two m/c and ttc again. I dont really have any words of encouragement as this post will help me just as much as you but dont give up. Our rainbow babies will be here soon FX for us xx
Post # 16
Thank you so much for all the encourgement and positive stories, ladies <3 Means more than I can say! I’m feeling more optimistic and brave today about the whole process because of this 🙂 I’ll be keeping my FX for those of you in similar circumstances!! Hopefully one day we all have our rainbow babies 🙂