Post # 1
Hi LDR bees,
My SO and I have been together 3 years now and in an LDR for the past 11 months. We both work in the same industry and it ended up with us both having to accept jobs in separate states. Is been horrible the whole time. I’m VERY depressed every time one of us needs to go home and cry sometimes for days.
However, the end is in sight! He’s due to move home in June once he qualifies in his profession after a year of work experience in the industry. He’s planning to move without applying for a job here first because neither of us want to wait any later than that. We both are miserable without one another. So bees, the point is I’m kinda nervous about him coming home, both because of the employment angle and also because FINALLY we’ll be together “full time”. What were your experiences of your end date? How did things go? Did you all have jobs lined up? (or did your SOs?)
Post # 2
I completely understand him moving with or without a job but will he at least apply between now and then? Now would be the time to start sending out his resumes.
I don’t have any advice to give from personal experience but it is most likely a good idea to figure out how you want to split household chores. Do you want a chart, do you just want to go with the flow, will you have certain jobs you always do? Are you combining finances? If so, how? Do you want to get married? If so, do you have expectations of when you will be engaged? Have you talked about it and are you on the same page? I know it’s hard to talk about these things not in person but it will most likely save a lot of headaches during the adjustment phase.
Post # 3
we didn’t go from LDR to living together but we certainly had no issues with the transition to living near each other again and spending weekends together (I know this is different). It was so so nice to see each randomly, whenever we wanted and on a whim. To see things we fancied doing and just do them, no planning for 3 months or realised it just couldn’t happen. When I’d had a tough day it was great for him to actually be there. We’ve got used to that now but savour it and look forward to it!
I agree with the above poster about discussing expectations regarding lots of house sharing things: chores, meal planning/cooking/cleaning/shopping, bed time and routines, time alone or with separate friends.
I’d also ask him to make sure his CV is up to date and he’s already to go job-hunting-wise. Hit the groudn running because being unemployed can be a huge downer to both of you.
Post # 4
Things change when it is full time. But I think it is good. It make you know more about each other, and you will know more about the man you are going to marry.