(Closed) End Engagement or keep trying?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

End it. His anger sounds excessive, to the point of verbal abuse. You’re right that it won’t get better once you’re married.

Post # 33
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You asked why he stays if he feels this way. The better question is, why the hell are you staying?

Post # 34
Member
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
@sassy411:  +1,000,000. Could not agree more with this sentiment. The person he pretends to be when he is sweet and caring and loving is a FRAUD. He has shown you who he really is and you should believe him. Drop from you life like a hot potato and never look back. 

Post # 35
Member
2689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@ruhroah:  If you are having these worries now, it will only get worse. Marriage does not fix problems, it intensifies them. If it were me, I would get out.

Post # 36
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@ruhroah:  Im sorry that you are going through this. I believe that you should leave. This is scary behavior, and honestly the engagement/honeymoon phases, these are supposed to be the easiest months and years together. We can’t help that life gets tough, and if this is how grid behaving in the best of times, you don’t want to be there for the worst of times. Please remember your safety is far more important that keeping whatever you have going going. 

Post # 37
Member
433 posts
Helper bee

@ruhroah:  

Ew he sounds awful, just leave.  He pushed you on the ice.  Leave now.

Post # 38
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Get out. Now. Out. Now. Out. Now. Out. Now. Please. Although you may not feel “ready” to be without him, the truth is, you can’t afford to be with him if he physically harms you and makes you feel this way. Even if half the time he’s sweet and loving. Welcome to abusive relationships! No one would stay if the guy was like that 100% of the time. But you just can’t, you just can’t stay. Not at the risk of your physical and psychological safety.

Post # 39
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

This sounds like abuse to me, and even if it hasn’t gotten to (regular) physical abuse, I think that is the direction it’s going. If he was really sorry, I think he’d stop doing it. I’ve never been in your situation, and I can’t imagine how difficult it is, but I hope if I were in your situation I would. If you were my sister I’d tell you to get away from him.

I watched an interesting TED talk on domestic abuse you might find useful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1yW5IsnSjo 

 

Post # 40
Member
4522 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Obviously, I agree with others, this isnt healthy and you should get the hell out.  I have dated some really huge assholes and stayed longer than I should have with a few……but a deal-breaker for me is name calling.  I’ve dumped two guys for calling me alot less than a “f*cking b*tch.”  You should adopt the same standard.

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