Post # 1
So I’m not changing my name. I don’t see a reason to, and I don’t even plan to use FH’s name socially.
Problem is, I just went to a wedding recently and there was a lot of Mr & Mrs stuff. I know like 85% of women change their names in some way, but I would have thought that it would be easier to find alternatives to “I now introduce you to Mr & Mrs. ___!” at the end of ceremonies, and those “Mr & Mrs” signs on the backs of the chairs at the reception. I’m not going to be a Mrs. and I want everyone to know that I’m keeping my name without it being in-your-face.
I’ve looked online, but Google was like LOLWTF so I really don’t know. For the ceremony I kind of like “I now introduce Mr. FH and Ms. Finn as husband & wife!” because it’s clear to everyone how to address us. That’s not awkward, right?
As for the signs, “husband and wife” signs seem way harder to find than “Mr & Mrs” signs. Even when I searched for the former I got a lot of the latter. Maybe I’m doing something wrong with the search? I hate looking for things that I don’t know how to describe. And just changing “Mr. and Mrs.” in the search to “Husband and Wife” also brings up tons of articles about “12 signs he’s cheating on you” and shit like that that I’m really not concerned about.
I mean, I know I don’t NEED any of that stuff but I do like it, and I want something that actually applies to me and my life.
Post # 3
I don’t think there is anything wrong with Mr and Mrs things in your situation. I am currently trying to decide if I stick to Ms as well, but I don’t think there is a problem being known as Mrs Finn. I think if you are against it, the best option might be Bride and Groom signs, like these:
Also for the announcement, how about ‘the Newlyweds!’ or ‘The Bride and Groom! or even just ‘FH and Kitty!’ (you know what I mean :/…)
Post # 4
I’m also quite adamant about keeping my name and not being addressed as “Mrs.” We’ve agreed that our introduction will be our FIRST names, i.e. “And introducing, for the first time as a married couple, FI and me!”
As for chair signs indicating who we are… we’re skipping it. I think PP’s suggestion of using “bride” and “groom” is a good idea, though.
Post # 5
We didn’t get introduced, so it wasn’t a problem. I’m wondering, though, if you will have a problem being addressed as Mrs. YourCurrentLastName forever? If not, then I don’t see the problem with Mr. and Mrs. signs if you must have signs.
I’ve already had a dozen people address me as Mrs. Marvellous (though I told Mr. Magnficent I wouldn’t be outright mad if anyone addressed me as Mrs. Magnificent); it’s kind of cool, though I’ll generally go by Ms. Marvellous if asked.
I like the bride and groom ones, too.
The introductory phrase I like best is probably, “for the first time as a married couple, Dude Dudename and Lady Ladyname!” Just use your names; including the surname will make everything clear.
Post # 6
@kittyfinn: I’m not sure about the introductory part, but I think the Mr. & Mrs. stuff is still fine. I do like PPs suggestion of Bride & Groom as well.
Post # 7
Hey there! Kept my own name, and here’s how we made these traditions relevant to us with no headaches involved:
End of ceremony: We weren’t announced as anything — our officiant just concluded with a brief benediction for our marriage, and the music cue kicked in, and then we started walking.
Introduction at the ceremony: “Now, for the first time as a married couple…[his first and last name] and [my first and last name]!”
Pretty signage: Bride and Groom — I just made them myself, so no worries. (see below). But guaranteed, most Etsy people would be willing to work with you to create something appropriate.
Finally — be prepared to get wedding checks made out to FH and Kittyfinn Hisname. Fortunately, banks are pretty used to this, but we did have to sign a bunch of checks with his name, my name, and my married-name-that-doesn’t exist.
Post # 8
How about something like: “Go upon the world, and do good as husband and wife!”
I LOATHE the prefix “Mrs.” I refuse to use it with my new name, even though I’m changing my last name. If other people use it, fine, but I am going to make a request of anyone close to me to not overdo the “Mrs.”
Despite that, we are going to have chair signs at our table that read “Mr. Ugly & Mrs. Ugly” in honor of FI’s father who passes away some time ago.
How about you have signs that read something other than your names/titles?
“Lucky in Love” “So in Love” “I Love You!” “Happy Together” etc.
Oh, and as for Husband & Wife signs? Check Etsy if you feel that you can’t make that yourself. Even if you can’t find a sign that you like, if you find a style that you like you can contact the vendor and ask if they will make you a custom sign!
Post # 9
@jmarvellous: I won’t be Mrs. My-original-last-name. I will be a MS and I will correct people.
Edit: Sheesh, I sound militant but honestly, I’m not a fan of being a Missus. There’s just something about it…
Post # 10
@LilRhodyGem: Of course you will be! But I was just saying I am choosing not to care if people get it wrong.
Everyone is entitled to their own annoyances, but maybe I’m just so tired of being annoyed by people mispronouncing and misspelling my first name (probably on a monthly basis since I was old enough to notice) that I’ve decided not to bother getting annoyed by name stuff anymore.