(Closed) Ended a friendship, essentially fired a BM and it was the best decision ever!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I ended a friendship a few years ago (okay, it was like five) and I know exactly how you feel :). It’s good to make room in your life for friends you can love and who will love you back. It might hurt on and off again in the next couple months/years depending on how close you were (mine was my best friend), but it’s worth it in the end.

Congrats 🙂

Post # 4
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I recently ended a friendship that had been draining me emotionally since I was 8 years old. It took me that long to have the guts to say “I can’t deal with this anymore”. It’s so awful but I think I’m happier. I miss her so much but for my long term emotional health I’m better off.

Post # 6
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@spitfire229:  That is really great!  I had to do that with my closest friend 5-6 years ago and it made me feel so much better!  I just wasn’t happy or feeling good about myself when I was around her.  Unfortunately I evnetually also lost touch with her 2 sisters, 1 of which I was good friends with. 

I also had to ‘break-up’ with a work friend, because I really couldn’t stand how negative she was and it made me feel so negative.  Shortly after I did that (about 2 years ago), I met my fiance, and I feel like it was because I was a happier person!

 

So glad for you that you can be really happy on your wedding day!

Post # 7
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

I did that once for like 4-5 years ago with a really close friend.. one of the few girlfriends I ever had that I connected great with for like 6-7 years… anyways. She was one of those girls that “sucks the energy from you by being very selfabsorbed” in herself, her life, and the men in her life”.. the last year of our friendship was horrible, I felt so exhausted after 20 minutes on the phone with her.. even though I explained how I felt she didn’t get it.. it was about her, her and HER. I am so happy I have her out of my life because I got the time to focus on me and my “real” friends, that care about you and is as attentive to you as you are to them. What a feeling. Fake and overdemanding friendship is POOP!

Post # 8
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

I did this too! It was a little sad at first because she helped me so much and was there for me so much in the past.. but for the most part.. It is such a relief to not have to worry about a flake.. or drama.

Post # 9
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee

We all have one of those! Congrats lady for taking care of yourself! 

Post # 10
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

How liberating!

Post # 11
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@spitfire229:Here’s the big question- how did you bring it up to her? I’ve been considering the same due to not really being in touch with an old friend that I had already invited to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man on a quick whim when I announced the engagement and I don’t know how to break the news to her.  Phone, email, meeting over coffee? I am considering still welcoming her to my wedding as a guest but that might just be too awkward. Do I not include her at all?

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