(Closed) Ended Engagement. Broken heart. Please Send Hope.

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
26 posts
Newbee

I am so so so sorry this has happened to you. This makes mes so sad…and angry at him! You are beautiful and you will find someone who is better suited for you. I know you don’t see it now because it REALLY does take time, but you will be so happy when the right guy comes along. You do not want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you.. keep repeating that to yourself. You deserve better!!

The positives are that I don’t see any mention of children, which makes this so much easier, and 2011 was a great year for reasons other than getting engaged. Focus on your job and being a new and improved YOU.

Good luck.   

Post # 18
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

That is absolutely shattering runningonhope – I wish I can give you a real hug and be with you.  I can only try to imagine what it would feel like. 

You poor poor thing.

I am outside of the US but I feel your pain and wish I can somehow make you feel better.  I am having my lunch right now at work and my eyes are filled with tears, but thank God they haven’t made their way down my eyes yet as i am trying to hold them in as much as I can.

This guy is an utter asshole.

Post # 19
Member
8374 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Although you can never get back all of the time, energy and emotion that you invested in this relationship, the good news is that everything you have been through, and everything that you are going through right now, are part of an amazing journey that has worked and is working to mold and shape you into the person you have yet to be.

You have, for many years, had hope for a future with this man. However, just because the relationship that you have had with him is no longer, and the future you so easily envisioned with him is not unfolding the way you had expected, that does not mean that your future hope is in any way connected to this man or your relationship with him. 

Yes, you are hurting — deeply.  Yes, being without him feels so difficult and strange. Yes, it is going to take time for your broken heart to heal. However, what NOW may appear to be the greatest tragedy in your life is actually the beginning of a wonderful NEW opportunity for your life!

We often try to plan every little detail of our lives and to interpret circumstances in ways that make sense to us based only on what we know right now.  However, we can truly control very little of what happen in our lives. The only thing we really can control is how we respond to it.

Allow yourself the time and space that you need to grieve for what was and what will no longer be.  However, never forget that the best days, weeks, months, and years of your life are not those that are behind you but, rather, those still yet to come!

PM me if you ever want to “chat.”

Post # 20
Member
880 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Frown I’m sorry.

Post # 21
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am so incredibly sorry. I will keep you in my prayers.

Post # 22
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am so sorry to hear this. Keep looking forward to a brighter day–to a better person out there. It sound like he is immature. The positive is that he did this before going through with the wedding–7 years is a long time to come to this conclusion–but it would be that much harder if he did this after a weddding and honeymoon. It sounds like you have handled this so Gracefully and you should give yourself so much credit fo that..you put your all in to it–so you will never have any regrets that you didnt give him enough time or space.

Take care of yourself and time will heal all 

Post # 23
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m so sorry. To say he didn’t handle that well at all would be an understatement. You deserved better from him, and in time you’ll realize you deserve better than him.

And don’t think you were easy to cast aside. He broke up with you via e-mail because you ARE worthy of more and he was ashamed to face you or even speak to you over the phone. That may sound nuts, but I honestly believe that’s the reason behind why most people who use email or voicemail to break up with someone would do such a cowardly thing. Because they’re ashamed of themselves. And he should be, though I know that doesn’t make his actions any less painful for you.

You’ll heal, and you’ll have a bigger and brighter life that will be full of love and joy. And it may not mean a lot right now, but congratulations on everything you’ve accomplished for yourself over the past year! When you’re feeling better, keep celebrating YOU.

Post # 24
Member
5092 posts
Bee Keeper

Time will help with healing.  Keep yourself busy with friends, family and making a new life for yourself.  You deserve someone who loves you so much that they can’t wait to marry you!  He did you the favor of not marrying you.  Now your life is open to new possibilities of receiving more love than you believed possible. ((Hugs)).

Post # 25
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh dear, 

I’m going through something similar to you. I just PMed you, hopefully you check your messages. 

You are not alone in this, you will get through this and you will become a stronger person because of this. 

Sending strength and courage your way. Contact me anytime! 

Post # 26
Member
362 posts
Helper bee

I’m so so sorry you are going through this.  I know the heart wrenching feelings of a breakup, and a broken engagement is so much worse.  I once heard that with crisis, comes opportunity.  It hurts so much right now, but if you can think of this as an opportunity…. to be your best self, meet new people, and even though it probably seems impossible now, start dating again.  The life you were meant to live is still waiting for you.  And it will be better than what you’ve already imagined.  Best of luck lady…

Post # 27
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

🙁 hugssss.

Post # 28
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Seven years is such a long time to lose the person closest to you in your life.  He sucks for ending it via email, but I am glad that you got some kind of closure to the relationship… and especially glad that he did not go through with the wedding.

Post # 29
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think  @ProfessorGirl:  and

View original reply
@Brielle:  are absolutely right.  The way he handled it is not proof that it was easy for him to leave you, but proof of the exact opposite.  If it was easy, he’d have the words to explain it and the guts to do it to your face.

I’m so sorry you have to go through this.  *hugs*  But the good news is exactly what so many have said: this is the beginning of something better that will come when you are ready.  In the meantime, allow yourself to grieve.  It WILL get better, and someday you will look back and say to your beloved with complete relief, “Thank GOD I didn’t marry him because I never would’ve met you!”

Post # 30
Member
1741 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am so sorry- sending Australian hugs and thoughts.

 

Post # 31
Member
917 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My heart is broken for you. I am so, so sorry. Your pain and loss is clear. I want to tell you that I believe his choice to use an email says a lot more about him than it does about you. I hate to admit this, but there was a time when I ended a serious, long-term relationship over an email. I cringe even admitting that, because it was cruel and cowardly. But when I did it, it was NOT because I thought my ex deserved any less. In fact, it was because my love for him was so great that I couldn’t bear to see the look in his eyes. It was a selfish choice to protect my own butt, not a reflection of his importance. So please… don’t think you are worth so little.  Prayers for you! 

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