(Closed) Ended Engagement. Broken heart. Please Send Hope.

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
1187 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

So sorry! Good things will come your way, it’s just hard to see that right now through all the pain.

Post # 48
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Im sooo sorry to hear your going thru this! and i really hope you find comfort knowing you have all this support from the bees and hive and know that you are not alone.  I agree with all the PP’s, i know your going thru a very hard time in your life, but just think of how at least it did happen now before you said your vows, before you danced the night away of your wedding telling all your family members how in love you are.. only to then have to go thru a divorce later down the line… and it doesnt mean that since u werent married, it made the break up any easier, it just couldve been much worse having to deal with all the aftermath of the wedding and having family there celebrating and then announcing a divorce later… either way its going to be hard. I also havent heard anything of children, so if there arent any children involved that is a huge blessing… never forget that God gives us lessons throughout our entire life. And God listens to our prayers. If you were praying to God to give you the man of your dreams or asking for true happiness and love.. then maybe this was his way of making sure u got it… tough, i know.. but nevertheless, you will love again.. and just think of all the possibilities that are in front of you now.. I have no doubt that we will hear from you again… and that in due time, it will be a happy post of how u found love again! and how going thru this fiasco, has changed things in ur life and has now made ur life even richer than u couldve imagined! I 2nd what the other bees have said, you will have ur moment of ‘thanks to that break up, you met the real man of your dreams!’

and now that you see the kind of person he is, arent you glad u now have the chance for true happiness! what was he thinking?!?! he is such a loser and thank goodness his true colors came out! I really dislike what he said about having to hear about ur day! we all deserve to be with that person that wants to hear abt our day, and if its bad, they would know how to make it better! and i see this as ur opportunity to have that now 🙂

Best wishes to you! and hugs!! PM me if you ever need a shoulder or just an ear 🙂

Post # 49
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Gosh, I’m so sorry.  It will get easier, even though I know that’s hard to believe right now.  

Post # 50
Member
2080 posts
Buzzing bee

He has wounded you in a really profound way, and I am so very sorry that you are having to go through this. ((((((hugs))))))))

 

I have been hurt in a similar way in a past relationship — hurt doesn’t even begin to describe what I went through, as you so unfortunately know. But I have lived to tell the tale, and so will you, my dear.

I can tell you with 100% certainty that — though you may not be able to comprehend this right now — you will one day look back on this experience and realize you have been given a tremendous gift: You have been spared an even longer future with this man. Six years of your life is a painfully long time to have given to this man. Imagine if you had spent 16 or 26 years with him and were left to deal with children all on your own. That is exactly what happened to my aunt — her husband of 15 years completely vanished on her. He moved her and the kids to a new home in a new city, claiming he had gotten a new job; then he left them there, stranded and isolated from the support system of family and friends, ran off with his mistress, and left my aunt penniless with three young children.

You are FREE, my friend. You have dodged a really big bullet. Just as my uncle was, your ex-fiance is almost sociopathic in his ability to walk away without a backward glance. I know it may hurt to hear this, but — you never really knew him. You have an innocent, trusting heart. This man is stone cold. You are SOOOOO LUCKY to be free of him.

You will heal from this nightmare. You will move on. One day you will meet the man who really and truly was meant for you. He will treat you with tenderness and give you all of his heart, and stand by your side forever. You will look back on this experience and be so grateful to have gotten out of it before things escalated.

I never dreamed I would be able to find love after I was rejected by the man who broke my heart. But I did… and you will too.

Big hugs… please, please, please keep your chin up, and know that we are all here for you.

Post # 52
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m so sorry to hear about your break up :(. No one deserves that and I give you so much credit for handling it with strength and class.  Not many girls would respect space and no answers the way you did.  it just shows you’re the better person and one day you will meet a guy who would love nothing more than to cheer you up after hearing about a bad work day.  I hope you feel better soon.

Post # 53
Member
1380 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

What an arse. That is utterly despicable. I’m so sorry this has happened to you. 

But take solace in the fact that it happened sooner rather than later. 7 years is a very very long time, but imagine what would have happened if it happened during marriage.

You need time to grieve. And help yourself deal with it. Do whatever it takes – take some days off work, stay with family for a bit. Anything. 

Take it one day at a time. Don’t rush anything. And remember – this is NOT the end. It will feel like it is, but in time, you will realise it is not.

You are a strong woman who deserves better. Remember that. 

Post # 53
Member
22 posts
Newbee

View original reply
runningonhope :  honestly, at one stage I thought this must have been written by me and I just forgot.. This is insanely similar to me. The months, the emails, the conversation.

we had been engaged, this man was my absolutely everything… He needs space, out of nowhere, a day turns into a weekend, a weekend turns into a week of space, a month later… I receive an email, telling me everything he basically doesn’t like about me (this being the man who adored me to my face)

anyway, you can probably relate to the pain I have been experiencing since this all started in Feb.. Although, time is honestly helping, so are my friends family and amazing new job (and my cats)

you probably won’t see this, but, how did your life develop over the last 5 years? I’d love to know the rest of your story…

Post # 54
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I just saw this post because someone recently commented and, I would love to know how this all panned out. Sending good vibes your way. To @mitsey123, I am so sorry to hear about your situation 🙁 Just know that it certainly wasn’t about YOU, it’s about him. I know that’s hard to stomach right now but I can assure you, it’s true!

Post # 55
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

@mitsey123 &Runningonhope: 

I just went through a very similar situation last week. I really feel for you and understand your pain. My ex fiance left out of the blue 2 weeks before the wedding and also gave me fault finding grievances in the letter & to my face later when I found him.(because he just moved out of our apartment suddenly and refused to talk)

I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t bring them up back then. My friends and family think that they are just additional excuses that he uses to justify his departure. It seems like there’s pattern here: they probably just didn’t want to get married so they would use just about anything to belittle you and make you accept that the marriage just isn’t going to happen. 

It’s excruciating. I felt like I just lost my best friend and at the same time found out that he wasn’t who I thought he was. 

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