(Closed) Ended it with FI. Need some advice.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Good for you for ending it. You need a partner who respects what you want and values your choices. Enjoy being single, spend time with your girlfriends and family.

Post # 4
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Good for you!!! Youre so young! Go out and explore the WORLD!!!! You have plenty of time for love 🙂 

Post # 5
Member
9209 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

He sounds like a dick – good work.  Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader and support system, not some jerk who calls you names and keeps you from achieving your dreams.  Start ignoring his calls and texts!

Hang out with friends, drink wine and watch movies, go to the gym a lot, etc!

As for the ring, it varies state to state – but it may be your property to keep.  If not, give it back to him.  You certainly don’t need to give him actual cash.

 

Post # 6
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

First of all, I am so sorry that this happened. You didn’t deserve that, and I hope you know it. You should feel very proud that you had the strength to leave. If I was you, I would block his number and give him back his ring. You don’t owe him any money for leaving a situation that was unhealthy. 

Post # 7
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You do not have to give him the cash value of the ring…. mail the ring with a return receipt requested so he dosn’t a pull a, “I never got it.” and be done with it. What an ass…

Post # 8
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sweetheart, mail him the damn ring. Don’t give him a cent. Dude went off, and you don’t owe him anything. Make sure he knows that after you mail the ring, he is not a part of your life any more. Warn him that if he keeps harassing you, you will consult the police. And mean it.

Post # 9
Member
7758 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Fantastagirl:  Aw, ((hugs)) From what you say, you have done the right thing. He has several bad strikes against him. The worst is belittling you (no loving spouse should do that), followed by demanding you give up your education.

It’s a long time since I was single, but most people seem to advise getting out, reconnecting with friends, maybe find a hobby. Oh and make sure you complete college now.

He has no right to demand cash value for the ring, in fact I have never heard of such a thing. But I would return the ring to him. Or you could compromise and give him half what was paid, because the ring’s worthless to you too.

Post # 11
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah, I’d mail him back the ring registered mail so he has to sign for it, and can’t say it never arrived.  You may be legally entitled to keep the ring in your state, but even if not, there’s no way you owe him the cash equivalent.  He can pawn it himself.

I broke up with my highschool boyfriend (15-21, but he was actually really great and supportive, and we’d both finished our degrees by time we broke up.  He followed me to the top ranked school I got into and just went to a community college nearby, we’re still relatively friendly.)  Take some time just to figure out who you are without him, and be sad for a little bit.  It’s a good time for adventure and self exploration.  It gets really hard when a lot of your formative identity was so enmeshed with somebody else.  I took about a year and just was completely selfish, and didn’t even really entertain the idea of dating somebody else, beyond a couple casual things.

You’re still only 19!  The world is wide open for you!  Travel by yourself, go out with friends, get that degree 🙂

Post # 12
Member
8298 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I just did a quick google, but I think in Michigan legally you need to return the ring. I would mail it to him through registered mail or whatever requires a signature so he can’t lie and say he never recieved it. And hang onto the shipping receipt too. I would absolutely not pay him cash value for the ring, that’s ridiculous.

Post # 13
Member
7758 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Fantastagirl:  I googled for “broken engagement michigan” and found a couple of useful looking links:

http://womenslifestyle.com/legally-speaking-did-your-engagement-end-carrie-bradshaw-style-what-you-can-and-cant-do-about-it/  “In Michigan, engagement rings are considered conditional gifts given in contemplation of marriage. Once the engagement has been broken, the ring should be returned to the donor” – This article was written by Michigan lawyers (see link at bottom of page)

Here’s a Michigan court case in which the man successfully sued for the ring (but not its cash value) http://statecasefiles.justia.com/documents/michigan/court-of-appeals-published/20010220_C213950(37)_34O.213950.COA.PDF?ts=1323898333

Post # 15
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Fantastagirl:  He can’t refuse it and then still want cash value. It doesn’t work that way. I would send it certified mail like a PP said and be done with it.

Post # 16
Member
2168 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Cady:  +1. Make sure he gets the ring in his hot little hands and then move on to bigger and better things honey!! 

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