- 3 years ago
It’s been a few years coming but I find myself thinking more and more of ending a friendship with a girl who is close to me. I’ve thought about letting it simply fade away but she is quite keen on keeping the relationship alive (calls, emails, messages, making plans, changing plans to accomodate me, etc.)
Here is some background: we’ve been friends for about 8 years and the more I got to know her the more there were things that bothered me; I’ve tried not to let these things get to me too much but sometimes, her opinion, the way she acts in public, the way she does certain things I find completely innapropriate, rude and borderline insulting.
She is a single mom (by choice, had her baby through a sperm donor) and I was very invested in helping her with her son (I am his godmother), however a few years down the line I realized I disagreed with the way she was bringing up her child (I never said anything) but I could forsee the problems he would face when older (lack of discpline, lack of manners, etc.)
Fast forward to present day, the kid is 8 year old and has had a terribly hard time in school, he does not listen to anyone, has been sent back home from day camps, birthdays, has trouble making friends and is never invited on play dates. I feel him getting angry and frustrated as his social isolation because more and mroe obvious.
My friend keeps blaming the school system, the teachers (who are all apparently biased against her son), other parents’ kids, etc, etc. She also does not hesitate to criticizes other kids and others parents (which I find incredible given how poor her parenting skills are)
I have tried along with my husband to help her out and spend time with her son but it has become increasingly difficult to even enjoy our time with him as he is so disrespectful (he actually tells us off in front of her!)
My husband has never liked my friend from the beginning, he finds her views to be too extreme on a lot of subjects and he finds her rude and immature.
I have really wanted to find a way to let the friendship fade away. I realize now that she does not bring anything positive into my life and I find myself criticizing her way too much in my thoughts. I feel guilty about it but I cannot find anything positive to say.
She has lost quite a few friends in the last few years because of her behaviour. I just simply cannot find the energy to put on her and find myself avoiding her phone calls and seeing her less and less.
So far the guilt has prevented me from breaking off the friendship but is it even worth continuing a friendship that no longer means anything to me? I cannot criticize someone and disagree with them on everything while still pretending to be their friend! Isn’t that completely hypocritical?
I’ve very torn because I still feel responsibility as a godmother to her son.