Post # 1
My moh and I have been friends since 7th grade and she has always been rude/competitive with myself and others which I have ignored for the most part. Well this past weekend was my bachelorette party and shit hit the fan. So were in Vegas and I asked my girls to plan a relaxing weekend since I’m always stressed out. Well apparently there was a communication issue because at the beginning I was definitely feeling overwhelmed.
Thursday night- arrival in vegas after 5 hr drive. I’m tired and want to go to bed but they all want to go out and walk the strip. I agree and were out till 4 am just walking around which I’m not pleased with since I had worked all day the previous day and really just wanted to sleep.
Friday-The next day was fine, we went to the pool for a few hours which was fun. However once we returned to the strip I began feeling overwhelmed by the amount of people, cigarette smell, heat, plus I’m exhausted from the night before. I think due to this I started feeling anxiety which completely came out at a club later that night where I had a bad panic attack (pale, dizzy, heart racing, feeling claustrophobic). After I stood in a quieter less busy part of the club my moh comes up to me, starts yelling at me then storms off. Later at the hotel she tries pulling catty bs with my other bridesmaids and being fed up with that I called them all out into the common area and explained why I acted the way I did and how I just really need to relax for the rest of the trip. My moh denies that I had an anxiety attack, basically calling me a liar. I was pissed but she eventually apologized and we all were on the same page regarding the trip.
Saturday- the morning and afternoon are fine were at the pool lounging and decide to head to the strip for dinner. When we get there the preferred buffet line was 2 hours and my moh was super hungry so we went to a different restaurant. From here she starts getting an attitude ( ex: why are there so many Asians here, why do people even like to gamble it’s such a waste, ext). She then takes 2 bites of her food and says she doesn’t feel well. We offer to get her a club soda, ext but she turns them down. Then she texts someone someone throughout the rest of dinner. After dinner we started gambling where she refuses to participate, saying that she hates gambling and doesn’t see the point. So instead she dulled around waiting for us to finish. We then walked along the strip where she began criticizing random people around us which was pretty embarrassing. We went to the forum shops after and were waiting for the little show to start where she sits down and silks in a corner while me and my other bridesmaid look around. After that we went zip lining where she had attitude on the way over and then began calling the girl in front of us an escort and how she was disgusting. She then photobombed their picture which was also embarrassing. At this point it’s 2am and that’s my max so we went back to the hotel where on the way we get mildly lost. Moh then says she’s hungry so I suggest the various fast food places that were driving by as places to eat. She says fast food is disgusting and that she won’t eat it. At the hotel she asks my other bms if they are hungry and one goes back out with her to look for food while I go back to the room and head to bed.
Sunday- I wake up at 9 and rouse everyone as I don’t want to hit traffic on the way back. I offer to walk to Starbucks for everyone for breakfast. Moh then says “we aren’t going to a buffet?!” and I said well im not hungry enough to justify it and i don’t believe anyone else is either. She then gives me a dirty look and I walk to Starbucks. My other 2 bridesmaids are happy with the food except for moh who states that they got her order wrong and won’t drink it. Oookay. We pack up the car and head out when she starts driving erratically, screeching the tires, and storms into Starbucks while me and my other bms sit in the car with our wtf faces on. The rest of the trip moh doesn’t say a word except when someone asked her a yes or no question. Awkward 5 hour trip ensues.
Now wtf am I supposed to do? I feel so disrespected and hurt that she acted this way. I admitted I was wrong to have been grouchy in the beginning and explained my anxiety situation and thought we had moved past that. Now I feel sick and confused and I’m about ready to give her the axe. Help bees!!
Post # 3
Also, Im not really interested in being her friend anymore after this. We’ve had issues like this in the past and she’s become this toxic person that I feel like I don’t know anymore.
Post # 4
why are there so many Asians here
You officially have my permission to dump your racist-ass friend.
Post # 5
The whole time I was reading this I was thinking “I’ve acted like that before…when I was a kid”…I think it’s time to show her the door.
Post # 6
@MsNarwhal: It doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship and esp. for a moh. I had a friend exactly like this, even worse, she hooked up with one of my ex’s..Wow! I ended the friendship by not talking to her.. She got the picture. In your case though, I would tell her in person how you feel. If you don’t want her at your wedding tell her your reasons why. Good luck!
Post # 7
Thank you for reading my long ass post. She always makes off color jokes such as these, usually within ear shot of the target person. I usually respond with a normal answer. To this particular gem I replied with: probably because the food is good. You know an Asian restaurant is good if there are many Asians eating at it.
This is a lesser comment that bothered me in her grand scheme of fucked up things that she said this weekend. Though I have become less and less tolerant of these outbursts over the years.
Post # 8
@MsNarwhal: You have every right to tell them you just want to relax the first night, and who is she to tell eveyone that you did not have a panick attack. She, as your Maid/Matron of Honor, should be there to make sure you are happy and having a good time.
Im sorry to say but it looks like you barchelorette party was not about you BUT her – to make her happy, no fast food, no buffet, starbucks order wrong – Like come on?!?!?
Have you talk to her about the trip?
Post # 9
I felt like she had been transported back to high school with how childish she was being.
Post # 10
She sounds like she’s out of control and extremely immature. If you’re ready to end this friendship, I say you go for it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older, it’s that I am too old for bullshit! If someone doesn’t want to be a respectful and caring friend to me, there are plenty of other people who will.
Post # 11
yikes, this girl sounds like a real gem…
in the interest of long time friendship i guess i would say try to talk to her about it. maybe something was happening that made her act particularly awful this weekend? if she gets combative or pulls anymore crap, then yeah i could see not wanting to maintain a friendship with her…
Post # 12
I can see why you’re mad – that sounds horrible – but I don’t think you;d be posting this here if you were totally ready to end the friendship. I think before you officially end the friendship, you should try to have a serious (non-angry) talk with her about her behavior. Give her a chance to admit she was wrong and apologize to you. She needs to know that if she treats people this way, you’ll be too embarrassed to have her in your wedding party. If she can’t have a serious talk with you and flies off the handle, then that might help you answer the question of what you should do.
If you DO continue being friends with her – or even if you’re just acquaintances after this – then I think you need to shut down the racism/criticism of other people. If it embarrasses you and bothers you, tell her to stop saying things like that. You shouldn’t have to tolerate that, so don’t.
Post # 13
Im with you. You might get a few comments about not ruining a friendship over wedding stuff, but honestly, its NOT the wedding stuff – its the issues that happen to come up because of the wedding, and it doesn’t make those issues less important or less real. I had to have an awkward, potentially friendship ending, and definite bridal party ending conversation with a friend who felt toxic to me. It sucked, I’m going to be honest, its an unpleasant conversation to have – and you always have that nagging feeling “am I being reasonable here?” … but afterwards, the sense of relief I felt made it ALL worth it.
I’m sorry this friend wrecked your bachelorette party. 🙁
Post # 14
This reminds me of a trip I took with 3 of my best friends a few years ago. It was a complete and total disaster from the beginning and ended in a screaming match during the car ride home. I don’t talk to any of those girls any more and I’m happy to have that drama out of my life.
If you really want to know what’s going on you can talk to her but she doesn’t sound like the sort of person who would own up to her own bad attitude.
Post # 15
Ew – she sounds totally gross. Why were you getting everyone breakfast at your own bachelorette party?? Also the Asian comment? Just ew. She sounds like a hot mess and a terrible friend/person. I would totally fire her.
Post # 16
Ugh, I cringed with awkwardness sooo many times reading your story! I would have died of embarrassment being with her on that trip! Has she always been that off-color/rude?? I know you mentioned the competitiveness, but maybe something else is going on in her life? Family troubles or something?
I am definitely for getting people out of your life that do more harm than good. I think an honest face-to-face conversation would be best to get everything out in the open. Good luck OP!