(Closed) ending the engagement?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I don’t think you ever really know for sure- it’s impossible.

After I got married I went through something like this (we were going through in law issues as well though)- then my husband left for OCS and was gone for six months instead of three because he got pneumonia. It was probably the best thing that ever happened to our relationship. A few days after he left I realized how much I loved him and while we have our things (everyone does) being with him really makes me happy and he is a good match for me. 

 Go on a weekend trip without him- see how you feel. Good luck.

 

 

Post # 4
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Not everyone is exciting about wedding planning, I was really sick of it at the end.  I think that everyone has questions and doubts about getting married since it’s this huge commitment.  I think that you need to really think about what you want and not just run away from the relationship because you aren’t sure if it’s the one.

I agree with maureen about taking a trip without him and thinking about how you feel.

Post # 6
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Perhaps some time apart might help? How long have you been living together? When I first moved in with FH, I’d get very annoyed and need my space, too. Luckily, that feeling does pass.

Post # 8
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Honestly, it happens to everyone, and quite often at the 2-3 year mark. You’ve gotten comfortable, and you’re missing the spark and butterflies that you once had every time you saw him.

The best thing to do? There’s a couple things. Take a vacation. Start treating him like you did when you first going out – make special dinners, go on date, make cookies together, play board games. The spark fades, but you have the power to relight it.

It sounds like you’re also suffering from a bit of cabin fever. Volunteer at a local humane society or church group. Go to a scrapbooking night. Join a gym – do something for YOU and by yourself.

You’ll start to feel better, and you’ll be able to figure out your relationship. You can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself first.

Post # 9
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

In light of your most recent post, I’d suggest counseling. It sounds like it’s always recommended, but it really does help. You need to set a plan to get him straight financially, and talk about his mother issues too.

Post # 10
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree about counseling and also that you can see if you can work on the spark.  My husband and I have had to work on our spark too after being together for 6 years,

Post # 11
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

From your posts you sound really frustrated and ready to throw in the towel. Before doing anything, I’d suggest taking some time apart and seeing how you feel. Spend some time thinking about if this is just a temporary thing and you want to spend your life with him, or if you’re not wanting to marry him anymore. When you picture your life without him, how do you feel?

Post # 12
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Reading your posts, I get the feeling you already know what you should do.  If you’re going to break it off, I would start getting your finances in order so you can move out.  I’m a big Suze Orman fan, and she always mentions how finances can act as an anchor keeping women in unhappy relationships.  

Sending some hugs your way.  

Post # 14
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

From your last post you really sound like you don’t want to be in this relationship any more. As for how to leave, I’d sit down with your Fiance and let him know what’s going on. Before you do, you might want to sit down with your finances and figure out where you’ll live, etc.

Post # 16
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Hun, if you really want to leave, you need to consider talking with your parents or something to get you out of there so you aren’t just staying because he has money for the bills.  That isn’t fair to anyone.

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