Post # 1
Hi ladies!! I’m so thrilled, my fiance and I just got engaged! He is the absolute love of my life and I couldn’t be happier.
One thing is causing me stress though- my family. They are very traditional, Christian, and conservative, and my boyfriend did not ask for permission (side note, my dad passed away nearly a decade ago, so it wasn’t possible to ask him). My boyfriend is also politically opposite of my family, and they do not approve of our relationship for this reason. I am nervous to tell them because I know they will not be happy and will likely even try to talk me out of it. For context, my fiance and I live together, are financially stable and are in our mid-twenties. We’ve been together for 2 years, and my family absolutely loved him until they found out about his political stance…
At this point, I’m not kidding myself hoping they will be happy, I know they won’t be. But I do want our decision to be respected. Any advice for how I should go about breaking the news?
Post # 2
- Wedding: November 2019 - Canada
Awe bee! Congratulations!!! I’m sorry your good news likely wont be met with enthusiasm from your family, that would be very difficult! I think it depends on your relationship with your family and how outspoken you/they are. In your shoes, I would probably tell family members separately and let them know how happy and excited you are and that you need them and the rest of the family to respect your decision and support you.
Post # 3
I hope you are surprised to find that they are happy for you.
Post # 4
I have a very similar family and DH and I are both the liberal black sheep. I’ll be honest, it sucks. We have had a lot of conflict with my family over politics (more so that my family loves shoving their views down our throat). That being said, congratulations on your engagement! You and your FH are adults with your own thoughts and opinions, and your family will have to get over it. I would just announce as though it’s the happy occasion it is (and it IS happy!) and if they are upset about it, remind them that you are thrilled to marry FH, he’s your person, and you won’t accept any negative comments about his political beliefs.
Post # 5
Congratulations I wish you both the best. As your BF is liberal and your family conservative, the difference is your BF is probably happy to agree to disagree on politics and allow your parents carry on and live their lives. Unfortunately the conservative mantra does not allow that, they demand acquiescence by all to their views and do everything in their power to further that aim. They legislate their religious views, suppress votes, gerrymandering districts etc. They are blind and will never accept an alternate view, all you can do is accept them for who they are and keep the peace if that’s possible. Just do you, live your life regardless of their views. Much luck to you.
Post # 6
Just tell them you are happy and excited and you hope that they will share in your joy. You might have to have a heart to heart saying, “This is who I am marrying. If you can’t accept him, then you won’t be seeing me because we are a set.” I had some pushback from my family with my first serious boyfriend because he was from another religion, but I told them to cut it out or they’d push me away. My husband is also of a different religious origin and by the time we got together my family knew better than to harass me over it. Also you can set a rule of no political discussion when you are with your family so that everyone can just agree to disagree.
Post # 7
I think you have to give them the benefit of the doubt and just tell them you have some great news to share. How you tell them depends on Covid related issues and your locations. If you’re right, and they try to talk you out of it, you can tell them it isn’t happening, that you love him, and they don’t have to approve, but they do need to be respectful. If they won’t do that, then they forfeit the right to a relationship until they can.