- 2 months ago
I’m not aware of any religion that requires two people to have lots of money or host a lot of people or wear expensive clothing in order to get married. I’m not willing to vouch for none requiring rings, but certainly none require engagement rings and amazon has a number of bands suitable for a wedding band for under $15. Yes, many churches charge a rental fee for their facility. But surely if you are religious, the religious lead of your primary place of worship is aware of your medical and financial situation and would be willing to work with you to marry you with whatever is the minimum number of witnesses as required by law. In fact, I know of religious ceremonies where the wedding is simply incorporated to the normal weekly sermon in front of the whole congregation.
I also know of several married couples who lived with multiple roommates their first few years. I know of married couples who lived with their parents. I know of couples who lived apart until they could afford otherwise.
Is it ideal? No. Is it hard? You betcha. But if you want something bad enough, you make it work and stop finding excuses. If knocked up 18 year olds without an education or pot to piss in can figure it out, I’m sure two 26 year old professionals can, too. It isn’t impossible. At a certain point you have to admit to yourself that you’re making a choice to find excuses and not have to do it the hard way or you’re making a choice to wait so that you can have the ring to shut other people up or match an ideal in your head, etc. Medical bills are certainly unfortunate. Lots of people have medical, student loan, credit card debt and figure out how to not live with their parents and still move on with their lives – it’s not impossible. You aren’t a victim – circumstances may have made your options less than ideal, but you do have options and once you admit that you are making the choice to deal with your circumstances the way you are and stop viewing yourself as a victim, it will be a bit easier to cope with.
As PP said, the community is pretty wide and varied and resourceful for ideas if you want to actually start exploring your options and move forward.