(Closed) Engaged after future BIL, married before??

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Hostess
826 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think it really depends on where their family is located. Fiance and I are getting married 2 months after his sister. Their family doesn’t have to travel far. 3-4 hours tops. My family is coming from SC, Florida, and Alaska. My wedding is in Texas. So if one of my brothers decided to get married that close to mine it would be a problem since our family is so spread out (military) and it’s expensive to travel. So I think if the majority of the guests that will want to attend both weddings are in driving distance it should not be an issue.

I don’t think it will reflect badly, you shouldn’t put your plans on pause for someone else to finish theirs.

Anyways congratulations! 🙂 I am also getting married June 2016!

Post # 3
Member
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015 - Family Farm

View original reply
tm6173:  They get a day not two months. I really don’t see a big deal. THey might be annoyed but I wouldn’t care. 2 Months is pleanty of time between.

Post # 4
Member
6013 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

 

tm6173:  you are allowed to have your wedding whenever you want. The only thing I would be aware of is how many guests are traveling and if they are going to be invited to both weddings. If lots of travel is involved for overlapping guests they may only go to your’s or theirs. Not both.

Post # 5
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Drury Lane Oakbrook

 

View original reply
tm6173:  It really doesn’t matter.  Fiance and I got engaged in May 2014 and our wedding is October 2015.  His step brother got engaged in July 2014 and their wedding was this ast weekend.  We wanted a fall wedding and they wanted a summer wedding, so that’s what we both planned for,

Post # 6
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I would say whatever you want you should do! People don’t get a wedding MONTH you get get a wedding DAY. 1 day. Now if you wanted to get married 2 days before them i think i would have to say no you’re just being annoying, but in this case you  want to get married 2 months before them. No big deal. I dont see this as a problem at all. UNLESS, you have family that lives really far away. In which case it might be a little inconvenient for them to fly to you, then 2 months later fly out again for his brothers wedding. So you have to understand that some people might be a little miffed about that. Travel is expensive, there is airfare, lodging, and food to consider. Some brides will be annoyed (as i’ve seen on here) if someone has their wedding a month before them and they were engaged first blablabla. personally i wouldn’t care but you know the family best, so if you think it will really upset your FBILs fiance you can do 1 of two things. “Suck it up” and get married after them, OR (my choice) “Get married in June. She’ll get over it she gets 1 day.” I dont think it will look like you’re rushing to beat them to the alter. If June is a special month to you. Get married in June!!! Best of luck!

Post # 7
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee

No.  You get one. day.  It doesn’t matter what anyone else does because they are not you two.  

I honestly didn’t even know this worry was a “thing” before I got to the bee.  I am getting married a month after my FI’s best man.  We were the couple with the shortest engagement.  I can’t imagine anyone being mad or jealous because we have been together the least amount of time, engaged the shortest, and marrying soon after.

It worked in our schedule to get married on the day we are so that’s what it is.  I wasn’t even thinking of anyone else when I picked the date to marry my Fiance.

 

Post # 8
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

View original reply
tm6173:  I would say that it may be difficult on the family to have two weddings so close. Me and my fiancé are getting married in November and have planned it for several years. My sister in law announced at the beginning of the year that they were getting married in May. We were happy for them but having the weddings so close did stress out some of our family members a little bit. But people will make it work somehow.

Post # 9
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

As others have said, it depends on the crowd.  How many mutual guests etc?  If a lot of mutual guests would need to travel long distances, I would consider rescheduling.  If everybody is relatively local, I would go forward.

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