(Closed) Engaged after us but married before us

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Totally understand how you feel!  BF and I have been together 3 months longer than one of my friends, and she’s already married, my bff has been w/her guy 6 months less than us, and they’re engaged.  It sucks; I’d be planning a wedding for this spring if it was up to me, unfortunately his cousin’s getting married at that time, and it’s a moot point anyways, since we’re not even engaged yet.  How you’re feeling’s totally natural.  It’s great there’s a place like WB where us frustrated waiting bees can go to vent.

Post # 47
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

TOTALY relate!  My Maid/Matron of Honor met a man months after I got engaged and told him she would not move into the home he was buying unless they got married so yep, she got engaged, knew him for just a few months and was married before me. Didn’t even ask me to be in her wedding so I totaly think some people are just jealous and the only way they deal with it is to try to do it before you.  I feel sorry for the ones who do it this way because they are getting married for the wrong reasons, I feel blessed knowing even though we waited we have been togehter 7 years and def doing it for the right reasons. 

Post # 48
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Totally get it, both my best friend (and MOH) and FI’s brother got engaged after us and are getting married before us. Both have been dating for much less time as well. The brother’s weddings (long story) will also be a month before, and two weeks after ours. Honestly it really bothered me at first and I had a night where I was totally upset, but after a while I came to terms with it and it doesn’t bother me anymore. Our engagment will be about 15 months. However, because of the longer timeline we are much more prepared and get to have a lot more of what we want at the wedding. Just don’t worry about what everyone else is doing and do what works best for you and know your planning and forethought will pay off in the end.

Post # 50
2 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

View original reply

I am having a simliar situation, are you upset that your cousin is getting married before you? Mine got engaged 8 months after me and is having his wedding 6 weeks before me, after a lot of b.s talk about how they might get married this date and this date-just to avoid telilng me the truth and then finally came out saying it was 6 weeks before me. My mom is really mad about the whole situation and i am not sure how to feel about it. How did you handle it?

Post # 51
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I can understand that you’re frustrated but maybe help would to considtht that everyone’s timeline is different and sometimes it’s due to complicated stuff. For example, I used to want a long engagement but I found out I have PCOS and it will take longer for us to get pregnant so, regardless of our initial timeline, we really want a family and my medical issues require us to readjust and somewhat “rush delivery” our initial plan. You never know their reasons and it really won’t impact you. Your wedding is still going to be beautiful and special. 

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