(Closed) Engaged after you/ married before you… Come vent here bees!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I was just thinking this….our engagement will have been 18 months which is longer, but not by etiquette book standards. I feel so relaxed because things are done, but I still feel like time is going so quickly and I have tons to do too! And I don’t understand how every single person engaged after me will be marriedbefore me….it’s mind boggling….some only engaged for 3-4 months the average is 6. I wouldn’t have enjoyed our engagement as much if it was that short.

Post # 5
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Edit: Decided my reply was a bit off topic, so moved it to it’s own thread.  But I do feel your pain, I’ve got a couple of friends who have got engaged after me and will most definitely be married before I am.  Pisses me off too. 

Post # 6
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

In my opinion…  every girl/guy/couple has their own RIGHT to choose whatever date THEY WANT.  Some couples choose not to be engaged for a long time …because either they want to get married right away (why not right!? If they are ready, then they are ready!) or because they can afford the wedding and do not have to work for many more months or years.   Totally understandable, and should be respected.  Choosing the wedding date is all up to the couple.

However, the part where they choose a date very close to your wedding when they KNOW they will miss your wedding because of honeymoon…is not so right i think.  Shouldn’t she support you and attend your wedding if you really are friends? 

So really, i find nothing wrong with the couples that are getting married before your date but can still attend your wedding.  As for the ones that are purposely missing out on your wedding, just because they will be on honeymoon.. is yes, quite upsetting. so i understand that part.

Post # 7
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

GAHHHHHHHH! I can’t even talk about this rationally yet. PM me if you need to vent.

 

Post # 8
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This couple started dating after us, got engaged when we had been engaged for almost a year, got married 6 months later, and now she’s pregnant and probably going to miss our wedding. Even though we drove 10 hours back to our parents and then 2 hours to go to her wedding. 

 

Whatever.. I’m over it. 

Post # 9
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

2 of my cousins got engaged after us and married before us. Honestly, I was pissed at first but then seeing their weddings and how thrown together and sloppy they were, I am glad Fiance and I had a long engagement to throw that kick-ass wedding extravaganza that we wanted! Everything happens for a reason! ๐Ÿ™‚

I do have two friends that are getting married within one week of each other. Friend A was engaged 6 months before Friend B. Friend B just decided she wants to have her wedding one week, yes ONE week, before Friend A. Friend A is PISSED and I get kinda stuck in the middle sometimes. Fiance and I waited 8 months after we originally wanted to get married to be considerate of his sister who just got married. But, many people aren’t like us ๐Ÿ™

Post # 11
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

One of my bridesmaids did that. Though for the record, she had been dating for almost 3 years when I got engaged, though I had ponly been dating for 10 months. I didn’t see it as a big deal, until she started harping on my wedding every opportunity she got. It made me wish that I had waited longer to pick my bridesmaids, so that I would have known not to include her, because she’s been very unsupportive and even flat-out mean. Anyway, I ended up being glad that she got married first, because she was such a stressed-put bride, that if my wedding had been first, she would have been a total pain. Plus, like a previous post said, her engagement was so short that her wedding ended up being kinda sloppy, and I’m glad to have my longer engagement to do things the way I want.

Post # 12
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

yeap seems like forever to me too..got knows how many cousins and friends got married and there is nobody left except fir me (:: thank god 6 more months lol.

Post # 13
Member
11391 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I felt this way twice during mine and my husband’s engagement. It seemed silly but I did. 

For a few reasons. We got engaged young & couldn’t get married until we could afford a wedding & our own place. So we waited patiently. Alot of my husband’s cousins are a little older or around the same age as us/him. They met their wifes after my husband & I was together for a few years & already engaged & still got married before us. Both of these two cousins was with their now wifes around a year or under when they got married. So those two times I thought about it but I wasn’t angry. I was happy for them but was wanting it so bad for us I could taste it! 

Now that we are married it seems silly I thought that way but still at the same time I think I had the right to have those feelings. So I understand!

 

Post # 14
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

This has happened to me twice.  I’m not really upset or angry at them, only saddened that we’re in this situation where we don’t feel comfortable or responsible enough to be married at this time.  When we finally get there, hopefully I’ll feel joyous.  At this point, wedding planning is kind of blah for me. 

Post # 15
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m so glad someone made this thread. I love my friend. I really do. I’m estatic for her to get married. I just wish I had the support she has. She will have an eight month engagement and has all her family behind her. I’ve been engaged almost a year. I have no idea when we will be getting married. None of our family supports us. My family thinks I’m too young, and his thinks a wedding is a waste of money. 

I just want to have a nice small wedding. I feel the jealousy bug hit me all the time, and I feel bad for feeling jealous because I want to be happy for her.

Post # 16
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@ama0219: ๐Ÿ™‚ Hugs!

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