(Closed) Engaged and Angry In-Laws!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Do you know the reason why they hung up? That information may help us give you better advice.

Post # 5
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Have they always been this way about your relationship? If so, your Fiance surely knew they didn’t approve of the relationship and decided to go ahead and propose anyway–so at least that means he wants to marry you regardless of what his parents think. Their loss if they don’t want to be a part of their son’s new life…for now, let him deal with this and stay out of it–don’t get sucked into their drama because you’ll somehow, inevitably look like the bad guy

Post # 6
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

So they hung up initially, but now have been calling everyday? Do you know why? Maybe they are hurt because they feel out of the loop? Were they last to know or not among the first to know about your engagement? My Brother-In-Law (husband’s twin) just got engaged to a girl that doesn’t speak to us. He says because she’s shy and doesn’t talk much, but we think it’s odd because she’s been around for 3 years now. So he gets engaged and not only are we shocked by it, but also very hurt because we were like last to know. We found out that even though he told us after he proposed, he had told her dad and sister before. So, if they are hurt because they were last to know I think a conversation might need to be had with them, and you just mat need to give them time to process and get over the hurt feelings.

Post # 7
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

My dad avoided me for months after I told him I was engaged. We were in two different countries, so it was pretty easy to ignore my e-mails and just let my mom answer the phone. He was really hurt that I’m choosing to live so far away from him, and I think he just needed time to adjust to the idea.

I say give his parents time. It sounds like their issue is more with your Fiance and how he handled things and not with you or the fact that you are marrying their son. If they are reasonable people, they will come around eventually. Just try not to hold their initial reaction against them.

Post # 9
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My FI’s family distanced themselves quite a bit after we got engaged. They were angry that we did not let them in on the decision and that although he asked my dad, he did not talk to them before hand, so they felt that it was all about my family and not his. Isn’t that how it traditionally is??!?!

We just let it go. Family can act how they want, we are getting married regardless. Things have not been the same since they found out we were engaged, they really have been communicating with us less and less.

Post # 10
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well first off, congrats on the engagement!! But that is so weird about his parents! I would just give them some time and space, have Fiance talk to them a lot though and let you know where they are and take them out to dinner soon to talk it through. Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

FI’s family has also distanced themselves from me and their son since we got engaged in June. I am sorry 🙁 I know how hard it is and how unfair and hurtful it can be!!!

 Whatever the reason, it’s probably silly and shouldn’t affect your happiness right now. It’s hard… but cling to your SO! 

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