(Closed) Engaged and applying to graduate school

posted 4 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 2
585 posts
Busy bee

Hi! Congrats on the engagement, graduation, and new schooling! I am a PhD student, and did the whole application process! It was scary but felt so empowering! Fiance is a regular old worker lol so not competing PhD programs. He is thinking about his masters once I am done in about a year. 

I am loving wedding planning while in school. We did an almost 2 year engagement and I’m so glad we did. I was able to devote the time to school and to planning. And the plannign was such a welcome distraction from classwork sometimes!

Post # 3
7892 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I would recommend being up front with the schools where you’re applying that together you are a package deal. That way one program might be able to nudge the other in order to improve their chances of getting their candidate. If you don’t end up at the same institution, at least hopefully you can still be in the same city.  

Post # 5
1321 posts
Bumble bee

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becomingmichelledaylor :  Yes, I’m going through something similar. I’m in the end of my PhD program now and applying to medical school, while Fiance is in a completely different career. I currently live abroad during my PhD program, so even living in neighboring states would be an improvement but obviously I’d like to live with my future husband if at all possible. We will be getting married before I start medical school. Right now, 2 out of my 3 top choices are in the city where he works, and the third is in a neighboring city (dif state, but probably 1.5 hours away). 

We find out about admissions and financial aid right around the wedding, so we will have to decide what to do as a couple. Do we pick the school with the best financial aid and see if he can get another job in that city? Do we live apart while he job searches? Do I just pick one of the schools in our city even if there are better opportunities elsewhere? Are those opportunities worth the family difficulties? It’s so much to think about.

My only advice is that if you think you will not be happy or successful unless you are living together, you need to figure out a way to live together. You might be surprised after spending time apart that you can cope, but if you don’t think you can you won’t be happy. It’s be really hard living 5 time zones from him, but this was the best move for my career and I 100% don’t regret it, and neither does he. 

Post # 6
1358 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

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becomingmichelledaylor :  I’ve been wondering exactly how people do this and at what point in the application process to indicate this. My college roommate happened to get into a PhD program at the same school as her husband a year after him, who was in a phD program in a completely opposite field. PhD programs are insanely difficult to get into because there are such few spots, and not all schools even have (strong or even any) doctoral programs. Another old high school friend got into the same medical school as her husband a year after him. Medicine is also insanely tough to get into and most people travel across the country to whatever program they get into, and don’t have high hopes of getting their preferences. Granted, in both of these instances everone involved was a very very strong student, but I was still surprised given how competitive graduate school can be.

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