Engaged and confused

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
7555 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

You don’t live together, he lives an hour away and seems utterly uninterested in the logistics of actually getting married. Sounds like he proposed just to get you back. 

Post # 3
Member
8009 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It sounds as if he wants to be married to you and doesn’t care at all about planning a party–which isn’t surprising at all, especially for a man in his mid-50s who has a demanding job.

Have you discussed moving in together? Are you excited to be married to him and to live together and make a life together? 

It sounds as if you want him to be excited about a party. 

Post # 4
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I’m sorry, bee. It could be that he is reserved because y’all just had a major break up and he doesn’t want to get hurt more. That is pure speculation on my part. It’s also likely that he isn’t as interested in the wedding as in being married. My own husband was that way, we divorced and then remarried each other. He was interested in building a life and I wanted to talk about flowers. 

Post # 5
Member
5169 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Do you feel like he is interested in the marriage but just not the wedding?  I don’t think not being overly excited for a second marriage at 50 is that big of a red flag in itself, many people in that situation would probably opt for a more casual option without all the fanfare.  

Have you tried to plan a date?  Have you discussed moving in together? 

Post # 8
Member
5169 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

View original reply
jasmin71 :  We have discussed moving in together but he thinks my place is too small (it is as he works from home and needs an office). 

This doesn’t sound like much of a discussion, what was the outcome?  Are you going to move into his? Are you guys going to move to a new place?  If he lives an hour away which area are you going to live in, his or yours?

I wouldn’t be rushing to throw an engagement party when you haven’t figured out some very serious decisions for how your life will actually work together. 

What was the text argument over, just him not texting goodnight? 

Post # 10
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
jasmin71 :  You need to put all the party planning on hold (wedding and engagement party) until you figure out what is really going on here. It sounds like you two have some major communication issues. Plus you have no set plans for the future, such as who is going to to live where. This needs to be sorted out first before engagement. And are you even happy? You don’t sound happy Bee. 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors