(Closed) Engaged and doubting my relationship after 2 years-help!

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

maybe you are starting to realize you havent really dated too much and gotten out into the world! I think your mind is still looking if theres something else out there for you! If the butterflies are long gone maybe you need a break, get out there, do some stuff for yourself and hang out with friends and go places! Go on roadtrips, see the world! I did that for two years, came back and ended up reconnecting with the man I have never stopped thinking about ๐Ÿ™‚

Lovesvna:  

Post # 3
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

Lovesvna:  Sweet heart… I do feel for you and it won’t be easy, the point of dating while you’re young is to meet new people, gain experience, figure yourself and your needs out. It sounds like this relationship has run it’s course. It happens and it’s okay, don’t fight it if you really aren’t feeling it anymore. Don’t lead him on either. Tell him and give him the engagement ring back. Remain friends if you can but don’t force that either. I’m not friends with any of my exs and neither are my grlfriends with theirs. You’ve got a lot of time for relationships and later marriage. Don’t waste your pretty and your youth.

Post # 6
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

thats okay, breakups suck, even more when u have to be the one to do it!

Dont ask for a break, next time you speak with him, just say ____ I need some time to be with myself right now, this is nothing you have done, it’s just i need to figure out more of what I want in regards to my life and future. Give the ring back to him.

Short, kinda sweet, then if you give yourself even just a month or two and you dont reallllly miss him, then you will have to end it for good, politely.

Lovesvna:  

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by  Amerie27.
Post # 8
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

Lovesvna:  You end with as much honesty as you can. It never feels good and you might even cry but you don’t feel the same and that’s the truth. With the distance it won’t be as easy or graceful because you might have to do it over the phone. But telling him sooner rather than later is key. If he has somewhere he can stay when we comes back to visit you then you can wait and do it in person if he’s back soon.. otherwise don’t hesitate to do it via the phone and mail him the ring. Your sparing his feelings in the long run even if it doesn’t feel like it now.

Post # 9
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

you are very welcome!! You will find on here that there are alot of lovely bees that just want to give you constructive advice to help you in the long run! ๐Ÿ™‚

Lovesvna:  

Post # 10
Member
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You sound so much like me 10 years ago.  I got engaged when I was 18, and stayed with him until I was almost 20, and we were 5 months out from our wedding.  For almost the whole time we were engaged I was starting to feel more and more like we were too young and we were growing up and growing apart.  When I thought about our upcoming wedding and had feelings of nausea and dread instead of happiness and excitement, I realized something needed to change. 

The breakup was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in my life.  He took it so hard – he came to my apartment several times over the next few weeks, begging and crying for another chance, even had his mom call me to try to talk.  It will be so extremely hard but you have to stay strong and do what’s right for you. 

I am now 29, and have been happily married to my husband for 2 years.  I haven’t regretted that first breakup a single day in my life.  Those years from 19-25 that I spent growing up and figuring life out for myself were so much fun, and I can’t imagine what my life would’ve been like if I’d gotten married the first time – I guess I’d probably be divorced, or very unhappy.  It’s hard to realize how bad a relationship is or how unhappy you really are until you’re out of it.  Then you look back and think, “what was I thinking?!?”

Post # 11
Member
825 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Local Resort

You’re over him.  And it’s not really fair to keep the charade up.  You’re 19.. I have shoes older than that.  And when a pair of LV’s has seen more life on my shelf than you have, perhaps it’s time to change the priorities.

Give him back the ring, say your obligatory sorries, and let him move on with his life.  You have a world of living to do.  Better to realize it NOW than continue wasting your time and effort into something that you have already written off.

You need to marry someone you cannot live your life without, and right now you’re perfectly happy with just yourself.  This post that you made? should be the final red flag indicating, oh wait, I need to face the music.

Good luck to you

Post # 12
Member
6447 posts
Bee Keeper

Lovesvna:  I got married when I was 22, had my daughter when I was 21.  I am young, very young in some aspects.  But I had dated and felt like I had lived my live enough when I met my husband. I don’t have any regrets or worries about marrying him but I think you feel you may.  If you feel like you may have any doubts about the marriage, listen to them first.  Maybe consult some friends and your parents on what you should do first before calling quits entirely on the relationship.

Post # 13
Member
434 posts
Helper bee

I would suggest talking about this with him. I’ve gone through similar phases with my SO – we’ve been together almost 2.5 years, and we are better than ever because we got everything out on the table and are really good at communicating after working on it for a while.

However, I dated my ex for over 5 years, all through high school and most of freshman year of college. I had feelings for so many other guys because I was not being fulfilled emotionally in that relationship although I loved him way too much. There was always something missing.

I’ve gotten to the point where I can do my own thing and let SO do his own thing; we sometimes still fight or get annoyed with each other, but even when I’m upset I know that he is 100% dedicated to loving me and making me happy and I can’t wait to spend my life with him. If you can’t get back to that feeling, then don’t go through the engagement.

Post # 14
Member
811 posts
Busy bee

My high school boyfriend and I faded out also. I went off to college, he didn’t. We barely ever texted and I was having fun making new friends and being independent. Neither of us really had the drive to text each other or skype. I am sure he was talking to other girls (obviously not saying this is happening to your guy!), but it’s really common to happen young. I am very glad that you are so comfortable in your own skin that you enjoy being alone, really this is the sign of a mature person, and someone ready to grow and live their life ๐Ÿ™‚ Good luck with everything, it’ll be hard. But this is your life! You deserve all you want.

Post # 15
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Any of you broke up with ex and later got back together after some time? Especially for relationships tt happened during college days?

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