Engaged and fed up

posted 5 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Not unreasonable at all. Marriage is a partnership. You fill in where you can so you can both grow. Your kids are part of the deal whether he likes it or not. If he doesn’t want to fill the role as at least a responsible adult who cares for them in some capacity at the very least, then you know the answer. 

Post # 3
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2020

Sounds like an unhealthy dynamic. Nothing about your post indicates to me that you’re happy at all, or this is worth trying to salvage. Sorry, bee. Go find your happiness elsewhere.

Post # 4
4008 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

You didn’t mention a single positive aspect about this relatioship. Anytime someone says they’ve broken up multiple times there are huge red flags. This doesn’t sound like a positive relationship.

Post # 5
3066 posts
Sugar bee

Every single post is about how you have doubts and all the red flags. 4 months ago you said you were “pretty sure you were done”. So why are you still together? Break up and never get back with this loser again. At this point you’re just wasting your own time.

Post # 6
1289 posts
Bumble bee

Yup. I agree with all the other posters. What else do you need to know? He isn’t being supportive of you going back to school and doesn’t want to help with your boys so that you can make this happen. It’s an insult for him to tell you to ask your ex for help when he knows this isn’t going to happen. 


I went back to grad school when I was pregnant and had a year old daughter. It was really tough, but my husband was a huge help with all the logistics….and no one was more proud when I graduated. You deserve that too. Everyone does.

Post # 7
8256 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

How are you supporting your kids only working part time? Would you be relying on your fi to find this AND look after them? Does your ex not provide any support? 

It doesn’t sound like he is on board with any of this. If he doesn’t want to support you/your kids I can understand why he would be pulling away. He doesn’t want to be a step dad, but unfortunately your situation doesn’t allow for him to only be around for the fun stuff. That said, I don’t think it’s wrong to get your ex to help out more, he’s legally obligated and if you aren’t pursuing that you should!

Post # 11
704 posts
Busy bee

Yeah. He doesn’t sound like much of a Partner.

why tie yourself to someone like that?

You can do better OP, and you owe it to yourself to do better..

Post # 12
7131 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

It’s good that you broke up. I hope it sticks and that you take your course and get a lot of benefit from it.

Post # 13
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 1985

I am sorry Bee!   You deserve to be happy!  I agree with PPs.

Post # 14
3066 posts
Sugar bee

I’m glad you ended it. Now the most important part is to not go back to him no matter what.

Post # 15
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I think ending this was the right thing. I think I remember reading a previous post of yours and wondering why you were even still together.

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