Post # 1
So my fiance and I have been together 3.5 years and broken up many times. We are late 40’s and divorced. Only I have kids. I am not feeling supported emotionally and last night we discussed how I would like to do some part time study (I also work part time). We are engaged and don’t live together (he lives approx.an hour away). So he wasn’t overly supportive and was.just bringing up the negatives. Also he knows I may need some extra help with the kids and said I should ask my ex husband for help (knowing full well my ex wont). I felt so down after our discussion I could hardly talk to him. He asked me what was wrong saying “it’s about our.chat earlier isn’t it?”. I said it was and that I didn’t feel emotionally supported. Well he got annoyed and got up saying he would go home. This is a pattern of his and mine where he walks out. I then said I didn’t think we.should get married and he went upstairs and got his stuff and left. I tried messaging him but he ignored me so I said I have had enough. I really don’t think this relationship is worth saving, sadly. But am I being unreasonable expecting my partner to be.supportive? He knows I struggle with my 2 boys and one is ASD and doing part time study would make me happy. There’s other issues too.
Sad and over it.
Post # 2
Not unreasonable at all. Marriage is a partnership. You fill in where you can so you can both grow. Your kids are part of the deal whether he likes it or not. If he doesn’t want to fill the role as at least a responsible adult who cares for them in some capacity at the very least, then you know the answer.
Post # 3
Sounds like an unhealthy dynamic. Nothing about your post indicates to me that you’re happy at all, or this is worth trying to salvage. Sorry, bee. Go find your happiness elsewhere.
Post # 4
You didn’t mention a single positive aspect about this relatioship. Anytime someone says they’ve broken up multiple times there are huge red flags. This doesn’t sound like a positive relationship.
Post # 5
Every single post is about how you have doubts and all the red flags. 4 months ago you said you were “pretty sure you were done”. So why are you still together? Break up and never get back with this loser again. At this point you’re just wasting your own time.
Post # 6
Yup. I agree with all the other posters. What else do you need to know? He isn’t being supportive of you going back to school and doesn’t want to help with your boys so that you can make this happen. It’s an insult for him to tell you to ask your ex for help when he knows this isn’t going to happen.
I went back to grad school when I was pregnant and had a year old daughter. It was really tough, but my husband was a huge help with all the logistics….and no one was more proud when I graduated. You deserve that too. Everyone does.
Post # 7
How are you supporting your kids only working part time? Would you be relying on your fi to find this AND look after them? Does your ex not provide any support?
It doesn’t sound like he is on board with any of this. If he doesn’t want to support you/your kids I can understand why he would be pulling away. He doesn’t want to be a step dad, but unfortunately your situation doesn’t allow for him to only be around for the fun stuff. That said, I don’t think it’s wrong to get your ex to help out more, he’s legally obligated and if you aren’t pursuing that you should!
Post # 8
Yes you are right. We ended up breaking up last night.
Post # 9
my ex husband and I have court orders and my ex meets those no problem and he sometimes has the kids more.
I wotk part time and also get some govt assistance and the course is govt funded. What I wanted and needed from my partner is support, encouragement and as he works from home at his own pace he could’ve offered some logistics help eg pick up the boys from school.
This relationship is over.
Post # 10
I agree! I’ve never had a partner like that.
Post # 11
Yeah. He doesn’t sound like much of a Partner.
why tie yourself to someone like that?
You can do better OP, and you owe it to yourself to do better..
Post # 12
It’s good that you broke up. I hope it sticks and that you take your course and get a lot of benefit from it.
Post # 13
I am sorry Bee! You deserve to be happy! I agree with PPs.
Post # 14
I’m glad you ended it. Now the most important part is to not go back to him no matter what.
Post # 15
I think ending this was the right thing. I think I remember reading a previous post of yours and wondering why you were even still together.