(Closed) engaged and feel like my relationship is falling apart

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
9071 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

First off, whether or not you two are fighting is not going to make a hypothetical baby go away. Get a pregnancy test.

Second of all, most of this sounds like miscommunication. Both of you are being very mean and vengeful towards one another: This is not healthy. You both may need to visit a mediator and learn how to communicate and say what you feel without resorting to using words as weapons and to figure out what you expect each other to act.

Post # 4
7547 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Why do you think you’re fighting so much more now? Is it because of wedding stress? I think it can be hard for even the strongest couples – all the sudden it feels like the whole family is involved in the relationship. I would think about how your fights generally start in order to sort out the root of your problems. 

Post # 5
1643 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@JaMice21:  what is triggering your fights? what is causing both of you guys to say mean words to each other? unless you understand what is causing them, you won’t be able to fix the root problem

Post # 6
2689 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@melonseeds:  Fiance and I fought quite a bit about a month after getting engaged and I think we were just trying to do too much too fast and with all the family getting involved and asking a million questions…it got to us. We talked it out and we are in such a great place and have been for a while. Take a step back, take a breather, and calm down….then talk to him without all the stress and tension. And if you feel yourself getting ramped up, tell him you need to stop and take a few minutes to breathe and then come back to it at a later time.

Post # 8
13 posts
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply

We’ve also been together for 7 years, and now engaged and not sure. Why are you fighting? Any particular reasons or just little issues? For me despite being together for such a long time the sudden thought of “this can be my future husband” really upped things quite a bit and made me think about everything. Try waiting a couple of months when things settle a bit. I would also try therapy – I’m going to do it to sort my relationship out…

Post # 10
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

View original reply
@JaMice21:  how old are you? He?

Post # 11
6 posts
  • Wedding: July 2014

Two things that really stood out to me… if he is having trust issues from his past relationships still, then you might want to consider whether he is ready to be in any relationship. Also, being newly engaged is when you realize there are all kinds of changes, commitment, and new levels of dependency on eachother. There are all kinds of unspoken expectations, which can turn a relationship into chaos. I highly HIGHLY suggest seeking out church pre-marital counseling…. they can turn even the most doomed relationship into something great.

Get a pregnancy test. No amount of waiting is going to change what’s happening in there.

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