(Closed) Engaged and have a crush

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Crushes are crushes. Everybody gets them. Being in love won’t make ’em go away, being engaged won’t make ’em go away, being married won’t make ’em go away. The difference is, now that you’re engaged, you can pretty much write off that anything will come of it. Crushes are kind of funny, actually, once you know that you’re with your partner for life.

 

I would just let it ride. You said yourself that you’re with your perfect partner. The crush  will fade with time – just remember that you’re a committed woman and you’ll be fine. No big deal!

Post # 4
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Grace_62: Distance yourself from your group of friends just a little, and this guy in particular a lot. If you need to spend time with members of that group individually for a little while, or say you’re not free if they’re all hanging out with him included, do it. Spend more time connecting with your Fiance. It may well be that, as you say, you are missing your Fiance, lonely. Seeing someone new and near is interesting, but not necessarily long lasting. Give your relationship the boost it needs, communicate your needs to your Fiance, and refocus your energy there before thinking about or exploring other avenues.

Post # 5
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee

@Grace_62:  Everyone gets harmless crushes, but in encouraging the crush you jeopardize losing your fiance, and it doesn’t sound like that is what you want to do. You do need to distance yourself from this guy.

Post # 6
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Cornflakegirl:  

@Kimy:  I agree with you both 10000 percent…

I am in a long distance relationship and I went out for drinks with a girlfriend and a man came on to me and was very persistent. I politely declined because I have a habit of judging every man that is interested in me by my FI qualities and characteristics and they dont measure up.:)

Post # 7
Member
4656 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@sarasouth:  This, precisely.

Dude, I get crushes alllll the time. As long as you keep it in your head and don’t bring it into reality, don’t worry about it. Maybe even enjoy it a bit, again as long as it’s just on the inside, haha. Consider it meaningless. 😛

Post # 8
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

When it comes to Crushes and being in a “committed” relationship (be that Dating / Engaged / or Married) your best friend is DISTANCE

Spend little or no time as you possibly can with the other person

Spend time together, and I can guarantee you it could start an unfortunate fire.

And such fires tend to get out of control very quickly (particularly so if your SO is out of town / LDR) … and do tons of damage that you don’t necessarily recover from

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 9
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Don’t worry to much about it, it’s only a little crush. It happens to the best of us! 

As long as you don’t act on it there’s no harm in looking Wink

Post # 11
Member
652 posts
Busy bee

@Grace_62:  as long as you don’t emotionally or physically react on it, you are fine. The moment you fall from him, that’s the moment you have to walk away 🙂 

Post # 12
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Been there… the best thing to ‘kill’ the crush is definately distance! Also, maybe find his flaws, and focus on them LOL. 

Post # 13
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

I am there now … a lot of the guys im crushing on wouldnt even get a look in if my Fiance was around. 

Video calls do help. Its sounds strange but even though we talk every day theres times it can feel like hes not real or i forget little details. Its difficult 

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