Post # 32
I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you. I haven’t had a broken engagement but I have experienced this kind of devastating sadness as a result of thinking you would never be with the person you feel you were meant to be with. It’s just horrible – its crippling and feels as though it will never end 🙁 I don’t know if you have friends that you feelcomfortable enough with that you can just be with them even if you’re not talking or with whom you can just sit and cry but when I was going through this similar feeling, it helped me so much to rely on a few close friends that I could just cry in front of – sometimes wail my eyes out even – and know that they would just sit there and be there for me for whatever I needed. Hang in there and please be good to yourself.
Post # 33
Thanks for that. I can say thode first two days were the hardest and I still feel the same but I got out of bed today and ate something. Were Christian, we go to church and for the most part we try to do what’s good so in all my praying these past few days all I can see clearly is the devil is working his ways to tear us apart. That’s what he does is tears good people apart and wants you to turn towards him and not follow Christ. If I believe that what we have is good then I think we need to be strong and remember all the good things and stay away from the bad feelings. I feel like I need to talk to him and tell him this but I also feel I should just give him time and space. Then I think he’s under a lot of pressure going through the sheriffs department. His last test is this Monday and he’s stressing on that and I’m sure stressing on money for living and our future so maybe he got overwhelmed. I am just trying to think positive.
Post # 34
Sometimes people just break up because they’re not meant to be together. I don’t think telling him that Satan tore you apart is going to be helpful for either of you… in fact it will probably make things worse. Just being honest.
Worry about doing what you need to do to heal yourself. You are very young and these things unfortunately do happen, as awful as they are, but they do provide opportunities for growth, reflection, and inner strength. As long as you believe you will love and be loved again – you will.
Post # 35
I wanted to say thanks again for those who wrote me. It helped me a lot and today I got out of bed for the first time. Big step for me. I’m not as strong as a lot of you woman are on here. You all have been an inspiration and I will keep doing my best to get through this pain. I realize I got a little wrapped up and I almost did something stupid. So again I know I said it before, but thank you.
Post # 36
glad to see you are feeling better. I am soo very sorry you are going through this right now; but just know there are people out that care about you and us Bee’s are always willing to talk and help.
Post # 37
my ex fiancee broke up with me suddenly on Christmas eve in 2005. It was a TOTAL shock out of nowhere. he ended up interested in a coworker. I talked him into coming back home that night and we talked, he made me believe we were going to try to work it out then the next day he packed up his stuff and said he was just telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. It made me hurt even more…I was lost for quite a while. I hurt so bad.. until i started hanging out with my friends again.. i ended upstarting to be interested in someone else and that was when i was finally able to move past my feelings for my ex. Of course, he later convinced me that he wanted to move back and i tried to go with it BUT in early 2007 I had to break up with him becuase it was just not the same…It does get better but it takes time & convincing yourself that he WILL come back might not be the best thing to move forward. I would try to move on with life and then if he comes back you can “talk” and figure stuff out.
Post # 38
@ArmyWife12: This looks like an excellent site. Just explored it a bit. I hope the OP finds some comfort in it!
Post # 39
I’m so sorry, hon. Things will get better with time.
Post # 40
If it makes you feel any better, once i broke up with my exfiancee after i took him back i met the true LOVE OF MY LIFE and we are getting married on may 18, 2013 and have a beautiful 2 year old son.. i thank God every day for my life that I have now and wonder how I got so lucky
Post # 41
My then-BF broke up with me after almost 10 years of amazing relationship. I was devastated and felt pretty much dead inside and out. I didn’t think I would be OK ever again. Yet here I am, 1.5 years after, planning a wedding and being the happiest I have ever been! If you need someone to talk to, please do not hesitate to PM me!
Post # 42
I want to start off by saying I am so sorry your going through this!! I was engaged three years ago, and 4 months before the wedding my ex called it off! I had almost everything planned, I was goig to relocate out of state for this man, and all he could think of was himself when he called things off!
I’m not going to lie it hurt. It hurt very bad. I isolated myself and I hung out with the wrong crowd of friends. I turned to alcohol to try to numb the pain away. I eventually started confiding in the people who really did care for me. It was hard to get back out there and to live life, but I did. I encoruage you to get out there. Find a new hobby, get involved with your church.
It may feel like the end of the world right now, but I promise you, you will find love again. I did. I met my husband to be last year, and were getting married this October.I couldn’t ask for a better man. Keep your head up, things will get better I promis you.
Post # 43
I had the same thing happen. I dated my ex-fiance for 5.5 years, and we split up only 2 months before the wedding. It was a devastating and emotional time for me. I went through all the same feelings and depression as you, so please don’t think that the things you are feeling are abnormal. My ex and I seemed so perfect for each other because we had the same tastes, hobbies, etc. and the physical chemistry was great. That’s what made the split even harder. But you know what? I started a new job at another company almost a year after the wedding was called off, and that was a blessing. Within my first week at my new job, I met a lot of new people who became my friends and who invited me out for fun outings and functions. I slowly pulled out of my depression. When I was feeling confident about myself again and not dwelling on my ex (or even men in general), one of my new friends/coworkers started becoming more special. We eventually began dating and now we are going to get married. Although my ex seemed like such a great guy at the time, my fiance is all that and MORE. Trust me, you will get through this. Think more about yourself and your life and don’t dwell on your ex. The more you think about him and compare other men to him, the longer it will take you to grieve. Move on with your life. The right man is out there for you, and when you find him, you’ll wish you hadn’t wasted so much time with your ex-fiance.
Post # 44
Hi dear girl, I’m going through something similar right now. I postponed my wedding because of serious concerns but still really wanted to marry him and hoped we could work it out!!!! I couldn’t imagine life without him. But then, hurt and angry (understandably), he broke off our engagement, asked for his ring back and started dating someone else pretty soon after and told me to do the same. I can really understand your pain and the feeling of being alone and no one understanding.
I have been plagued by questions and fear of the future, but something better is on the way for you (either a relationship with this same man again, but better and stronger, or….a better man). You are not alone. You are loved. Be gentle with yourself and kind to yourself. The answers and “the way” is coming. Just take it moment by moment and care for yourself and do not ever stop believing. Something good is coming……..
Love to you.