(Closed) Engaged and… pregnant. Really, really upset – not handling it well.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
585 posts
Busy bee

I’m really sorry you’re having to go through all this. Just take a deep breath and realize that it will all be over soon. If it were me, I’d be in the exact same position as you. I understand. I don’t know what else say except to hang in there and focus on one day at a time and don’t think too far ahead.

And brace yourself for the judgements from some on here! Just ignore them.

Post # 4
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Ugh, I can’t imagine… I’d be feeling the same way in your shoes. I hope you don’t get a lot of anti-abortion responses here. I agree with you 100%.

The good news is that you found out super early and the abortion should be fairly easy (from what I’ve learned researching this for future reference if necessary). Good luck and I hope it goes quickly and easily for you!

Post # 5
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

First, *HUGS* I am so sorry you’re going through this.  It sounds like such a nightmare.  I won’t try to talk you out of terminating the pregnancy, that is your choice between you and your Fiance. 

There are no words that any of us can say that will make this go any easier.  The only thing I can say is that it’s only a week away and then hopefully you can put this whole incident behind you. 

Also, I think you should contact a civil attorney.

Post # 6
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You found out early which is good. I would recommend letting Planned Parenthood know that you need to speak with a counselor, they can help you out with that as well. Take care.

Post # 7
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Abortion is a very safe procedure! As a Bee who has had one, I can tell you that it is not that bad. I was awake for mine. It’s painful and uncomfortable, but literally finished in less than 5 minutes. I “felt like me,” again within the week. The pain during recovery was very minimal for me.

If you are confident in your decision to terminate the pregnancy, just remember that this period of your life will soon be over. 


Post # 8
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am CFC and one of my worst nightmares is the possibility of falling pregnant. I do everything I can prevention wise, but it’s still terrifying. And I know I would have an abortion but I would be exactly like you, feeling destroyed over it.

I don’t know what to say, except we are all here for you. I want to give you a massive hug right now. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk. Hang in there, you sound very strong.

Post # 9
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Big hugs and lots of support! You will be fine! Find a fun, dumb tv show to watch to get your mind off of things, and have a yummy dinner. That might calm your nerves for a bit.

Post # 11
530 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m pro-life. CONTINE READING, I’m not mean or here to change your mind! promise 🙂

Getting that out of the way, I totally am not here to judge in any way. You’ve made up your mind and though we don’t have the same opinions I’m here to support a fellow bee. I’m only going to say that after you do terminate the pregnancy, if you continue to feel anxious or upset please seek counseling. 

I’m really sorry this happened and sorry you are so upset. Please, please, please take care of yourself. Please eat and try to sleep. An abortion is surgery and you need to be healthy to go through any surgery  Stay strong and I wish  you all the best. If it were me I would also try to go through a hospital to get your procedure done, it will probably make you feel more secure than being in a Planned Parenthood.

And I’m sorry I mentioned my stance, I really wasn’t going but everyone saying you are going to be judged kind of bothered me. I just wanted to say, be  healthy. You are the most important right now! 

Post # 12
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

I’m so sorry that this came out of the blue and that you’re having to wait so long to be able to do something about it. I’m pro choice as well, but my fiance and I do want kids. I can’t imaging having to make this kind of decision, but I fully support women being able to choose their contraceptive rights and family decisions. I wasn’t aware that they have to wait until it shows up on an ultrasound. I suppose that’s just to confirm the pregnancy and avoid giving the medication when it might be a false positive? False positives are very, very rare but they do happen. If you’re sure that your pregnant and you want to terminate then maybe you should contact someone other than planned parenthood. I just googled it and found that in my state there are places that will do first trimester abortions. Maybe another organisation won’t have that requirement?

It’s good that you and your fiance had talked about this before, I’m sure that helps a bit. Waiting is so hard when it comes to important news. But these procedures have been made so much safer than they were decades ago. I don’t think there are a lot of physical complications especially when it’s early.

As far as confiding in people, I think you’re right to have not told your mother about this. Even if you know her stance on this issue it’s different when it’s someone close to you. I found an abortion help hotline that claims they provide unbiased information for those who are pregnant and want information about what to expect during a pregnancy and how to find a reputable clinic. They might be able to help you get some answers while you wait.

Post # 13
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

sounds like you and your Fiance (and MOH) are really empowered and have talked this through and making the right decision for you both! I agree with both PP, and hope this all goes smoothly for you and that you’re Fiance and Maid/Matron of Honor will be a great support system in the next little while.

Post # 15
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I can totally understand why you’re so upset! Try to keep in mind that it’s just a few more days until the next appointment and that it’s a totally normal medical procedure. I know someone who went through it with the pill a few months ago, and she was just fine after a day or two of being uncomfortable. I hope that your Fi gives you ice cream, the TV remote, and plenty of hugs!

Post # 16
530 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sorry that I misread. Even if you are doing the pill, please eat! I agree with the other bees, try to stay calm and do silly things to keep your mind off if it. 

I will keep my fingers crossed that everything will work out asap! 

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