(Closed) Engaged and… pregnant. Really, really upset – not handling it well.

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
49 posts
Newbee

@KatNYC2011:  WE are all entitled to our opinions…how is my first post bullying in any way shape or form???? I’m not calling her names, or saying anything mean. I’m just voicing my opinion and telling her that every baby is a blessing.

I get that its in hers rights…she can do whatever she wants, and I really dont care none of you mean anything to me. But I felt like I needed to say something because thats what i BELIEVE in.

[comment moderated for snark]

Post # 33
Member
49 posts
Newbee

[comment moderated for snark]

Post # 34
Member
2721 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Keylime Pie:  Look, the OP’s reasons for not wanting to have a baby are nobody’s business but her own.  And until somebody comes up with a solution for all of the unwanted children in the world who already need homes, I think all of the pro-life people need to back off of those who make the choice not to bring any more into the world.

 

Post # 35
Member
2080 posts
Buzzing bee

@Keylime Pie:  

 she can do whatever she wants, and I really dont care none of you mean anything to me.

 

Let’s not hi-jack the thread, then. OP is going through a very difficult time and needs LOTS of support right now.

Post # 36
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@cmbr:  +1 You said it!

 

People suck.

View original reply
@anonybee2012:  I’m sorry some people have to come around and make things harder for you. Not all of us are like that! 

Post # 37
Member
977 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Keylime Pie:  Please don’t try to talk me out of terminating the pregnancy – it is definitely what we want, but I guess I just need some comforting. <—-THIS is why you received negative reactions.  The OP specifically asked to be comforted, not judged.

Post # 38
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Good luck to you OP. I don’t have anything to add really, but I just wanted to give some support. Sorry there isn’t a safe place to find support wothout someone adding in their unwanted two cents. Take care of yourself, and it will all be over soon and you can move on with your life. 

Post # 39
Member
1731 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Keylime Pie:  Let’s not turn this into a debate.  Your opinion was heard but not appreciated and not even asked for.  As OP mentioned this is her choice.

I hope you are done posting as you stated earlier and don’t keep detracting attention from OP’s situation to your disapproval or her decision.

As a group I suggest we just agree to disagree and move on from Keylime Pie’s comments, especially since she probably posted here hoping for a reaction and instead focus on OP’s situation.

OP I feel for you and have no idea what I would do.  I hope you are able to speak to a counselor and they they find out wether or not its an etopic pregnancy or not.

ETA: 

View original reply
@BelliniChic:  Agreed and totally what I was trying to say, just saw this after I submitted my response.

Post # 40
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

  @anonybee2012:  I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It happens to many women at some point and I sincerely hope that your fiance is being supportive. Big hugs!

Post # 41
Member
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Keylime Pie:  Did you miss the OP’s post where she said “Please don’t try to talk me out of terminating the pregnancy – it is definitely what we want, but I guess I just need some comforting.” 

Yes, you are entitled to your opinion, howver in this case your opinion wasn’t asked for (no one’s was), so you should push your agenda elsewhere.  Stop making her feel bad in an already difficult situation that she is. 


OP – So sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Sending lots of strength, support and hugs your way.  This will all be behind you soon enough.

Post # 42
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am so sorry you are going through this! Many hugs to you. Hang in there, and please take care of yourself. If you need to take some time off of work, do it. You need to curl up with Fiance and just cry it out? Do it.  I’m so glad to hear you have your Fiance and your Maid/Matron of Honor in your life to confide in and lean on for support. And please do consider some after-care counseling to help you cope in such a difficult time. Hope you can start feeling better soon. 

Post # 43
Member
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Just want to send you lots of love and positive thoughts. This is a miserable, horrible situation to find yourself in, and the extra waiting makes it even harder. I’m so sorry. Take care of yourself! I’m so glad you have your fiance and your friend to support you.

Post # 44
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

Anonymous here (unfortunately), but after previous comments i don’t need to be judged for my prior decisions.

I have terminated two pregnancies.  Not getting to my reasoning why, as neither ME or YOU need to explain why we weren’t/aren’t ready for children, but I wanted to let you know that I have zero regret for going through with either procedure.

I also wanted to tell you that one of the times I chose to take the pill over procedure, and it did not work, which made it physically and emotionally draining for many many weeks.  The entire process was not what i would recommend either.

If it is available to you, I recommend being put asleep for the D&C.  There was no pain and you have no memory of it.  I was completely fine to return to work the next morning. 

I would be happy to answer any other questions here or through PM under this name.  I promise you, you will be fine.  I never question my decision and I know I wouldn’t have the happiness and life that I have now if I hadn’t made that choice, or had been able to.

I don’t take any offense to the people that don’t believe in what I chose, because i know that no one can truly understand until put in the position of not being able to care for a child as they should be.  You’re better and stronger than people who would judge you for that.  Stay strong.

Post # 45
Member
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@anonybee2012:  I know exactly what you are going through.  I was in your situation last year in August.  I had all the symptoms… felt nauseas, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, gained weight even…. Fiance and I were 21 and 20 years old… we had not even talked about this possibility before.. but I never really imagined myself having a baby during that time.  I am still at university.. didn’t get many hours at my part-time job, Fiance and I were saving for a house.. but it looked like it would take awhile.  Anyway, I went to the doctor for a preg test and it confirmed that I was 7 weeks along. I got it terminated with the abortion pill in September.. I am not going to sugar coat it.. it was a horrible experience.  Luckily my Fiance stood by me during the worst of it and spent the day with me until it had ‘passed’.  It was traumatic.. I felt upset and always wanted to cry.. but I went back to work they day after and I think that is the most important thing.  I only ever told Fiance and 2 best friends,… like you I could not tell my mum… but you need to remember that no one will even know.. despite you feeling crappy etc….. I still think about it sometimes… I don’t feel upset about it considering we made the decision for our best interests. I only have 1 more year at university, we have just bought our first home which is super exciting… and the wedding is in 2 years time… I guess no one expects this to happen to them.. but the trick is to not look at it in a negative way.  I just think… i’d rather wait until after the wedding and TTC on be head over heels when I find a positive test… instead of balling my eyes out and stading their in shock when the doctor announced that I was 7 weeks pregnant ontop of being UNPLANNED!!!  Hope this helps… PM me if you have any questions.

Post # 46
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

*hugs* It will be okay. The most important thing is to take care of yourself and I definitely encourage you to get some counseling (not any sort of counseling to try to change your mind, but to help you work through your emotions) before and after. As other bees have said be thankful your Fiance and friends are so supportive and just try to relax….you will be okay…

The topic ‘Engaged and… pregnant. Really, really upset – not handling it well.’ is closed to new replies.

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